If Only You Knew

15 - Overthinking

April 24th, 2015 - Whitehall Manor, Northern Europe

I sat with my legs crossed, mirroring Cassia, who was sitting opposite me on her bed as she painted my nails a dark shade of purple. It was a plum colour I suppose, thick and juicy. It was glossy as it dried, making my nails seem venomous. I smile down at them, and then up at Cass.

"They look great, what colour do you want?" I smile widely, my braids hanging over my shoulder.

"I know they do," she grins at me. "I think I want an emerald green."

"Alright, find one and I'll do it," I smile as she finishes my nails and I hold them up to look at them in better light. I suddenly find emerald green polish in front of me and I pick it up, shaking the bottle.

She holds out her hands and I start to apply the glossy substance and it dries almost instantly. Perks of magic. Cass can't meet my eye for a moment, and I raise an eyebrow instantly. "Did he really say he wants to marry you?"

"Yes," it's the only answer I can give without crying. I watch what I'm doing very carefully. I'd been all but avoiding Matt the past week, it was too hard. I loved him, but I couldn't have him getting hurt, and if Cassandra knew, then he was practically dead.

"Do you want to marry him?" She mumbles a little, looking up at me through her eyelashes.

"More than anything, Cass, I really do," my voice sounds shaky, and I pray that she doesn't say anything.

"I know you do, you're just overthinking it," she looks up at me, raising her head and she purses her lips. "Why didn't you just say that?"

"Because I don't want him to get hurt. I don't want him to do something stupid. I don't want him to die, and if the Islegreens know about how much I love him, then they'll come for him. And I can't bare to see him get hurt because of me," I blink quickly to stop the tears spilling from my eyes. My hands shake and the polish spills across the side of Cass's finger. It was the last one and I ruined it.

She takes the bottle and brush from me, screwing it shut and using magic to fix up her finger. Her hands wrap around mine quickly and my breathes shake, and the first tear rolls down my cheek. Cass moves so she's next to me and wraps her arms around me, resting her chin on top of my head. She holds me while I cry and my head lays on her shoulder.

I shake and cry for a while until my tears stop and Cass hums to me, her voice echoing about her room. She's already personalised it, the decorates in different colours, just her her place. Her place, it seems like a long time ago that we were there. I don't recognise the tune, but I just go with it. She plays with my hair until I calm down and I finally sit up and face her, wiping my face with my newly-manicured nails.

"Thanks Cass, you're the best friend I could ask for," I give a small, but genuine, smile.

"We aren't friends Alice," she smiles but my expression my be shocked. "We're more like sisters."

I smile widely, my tears momentarily forgotten. I put my hands back in my lap and look around the room. 

"Want to watch a movie?" Cass leans back on her hands and looks over at me.

"Sure, let's watch a comedy, I think we could both do with some cheering up," I give a small smile and nod.

Cass sets up the movie and I soon forget about why I was ever sad.

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April 25th, 2015 - Whitehall Manor, Northern Europe

I walked quietly into my own room to grab some clothes and a book for Cassia, not realising Matt was still there. He'd basically moved into my room, I didn't mind that much. It just made him hard to avoid, so when he walked in from the balcony, I froze.

"Good morning," he walks in, running a hand through his hair. I don't even get a small smile, just a blank expression.

"Oh, morning," I give him a small smile and look down at the ground as I hurry to the wardrobe. "I was just grabbing some clothes, sorry, I should have knocked."

I'm rummaging through my wardrobe when I hear him laugh behind me. "You don't need to apologise Alice, it's your room."

I can hear the smile in his and when I turn around, it's right there. I match it with my own and stand on my toes, kissing him lightly. "I suppose. What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you, of course," he smiles widely and wraps his arms around my waist, leaning down to kiss me.

I kiss him back and we end up on my bed, I don't know for how long, but eventually we hear Cass knock on the door.

I quickly get changed into a pair of jeans and a loose grey t-shirt, going barefoot as usual. I run my hands through my hair as we walk down stairs, Matt right behind me. I follow the sound of Andrew's voice outside, around to the back garden. I walk along the path to the secluded area where Scarlette, Freddy and I used to meet all those years ago.

I walk in to find Cassia, Andrew and Marie standing amongst dead hedges, a closed coffin resting in the middle, a note scribbled on top. I recognise the coffin, but I'm not sure how. The note is addressed to me and I quickly pick it up. I don't recognise the handwriting, but it still seems familiar.

I open the paper with a small gasp, but don't read it aloud.

Alice,
This is just a friendly reminder of everything that you have to lose. Look how easy it is for me to get to you, and also. If I kill the contents of this box, you go as well. Just a thought. Cannot wait to see you on May the 9th.
Regards,
Cassandra Islegreen

I hand the note to Cass in a trance and take a step towards the great box. It's dark mahogany and gilded with silver. A light layer of dirt coats some part of the stunning masterpiece. Then I realise why I recognise the dark wood, the silver gilding. The threat, the recognition. It's my own.

My hands shake as I get ready to open the giant wooden chest.

I put in all my strength and hoist the lid open and it falls back, the inner lining soft purple velvet. 

Then I look down at the contents of the box. A shaky hand covers my mouth and I gasp.

My half-rotted body lays inside, exactly how it was the day of my funeral, the same dress, hands in the same position. I look for Jonathan's necklace against my rubber neck and reach out to touch it, brushing the decomposed skin. I feel it on my own neck, like someone touching me with the edge of their finger, and I jump back.

"What's wrong, Alice?" Matt looks over at me as I jump back, running into him.

"I felt that, I-I felt it on my neck," I reach a hand up to my throat, wondering if I imagined it. But I know I didn't.

Andrew raises an eyebrow and takes a step towards my dead body, pulling the sleeve of his sweater over his hand, slowly reaching down. He presses his hand lightly against my cheek and I yelp, because I feel it too.