Our Bruised Bodies | Bradley Bradshaw

ACT FIVE - PART TWENTY-FIVE

She couldn't stop herself, of course, she couldn't, which is why doubt was creeping up to her now.

Grace had considered her options. Thoughtfully, of course. For she knew what she was expected to do, she knew what Maverick, her father and Bradley have asked of her, for they thought she might be the only one able to turn the tides on this mission, but she thought to know them well enough to know that neither of them would have asked her to fly, if they would have known about her true condition, then yet again, they didn't know.

She could have done it, it was her decision to make and she made the decision not to fly. Grace had always based her decision on two things. The question what her father would do and the question of the greater good.

One life for a million when not even billions seemed fair. It seemed logically, morally even. For her personal feelings couldn't get into the way for her duty, only this was something else. Something different entirely, for she couldn't simply close her eyes and tell herself at night that with everyone she had doomed with everyone she had killed, she had saved at least a million children.

Grace knew why she wasn't flying, knew that it was the right decision, but that did not mean that she did not want to be up there, well at least partly. Another part of her never again wanted to fly a fighter jet, not after what happened the last time she did. Her arm still hurt when the weather was changing and she factually wasn't up to do the job any longer, but that didn't mean she wouldn't torment herself with the thought of what if.

What if she would have been up for the challenge, what if she had stayed. She guessed it would have gone somewhat like this.

Biting her lips, Grace imagined she would be standing in the corridor leading to the hanger, thinking how foolish this was, but then things would take their turns.

"Kazansky." Someone called out, which caused Grace to turn, her expression quickly mask, only to spot Siesta after all these years, waiting there for her just as if this was just another day at Top Gun and she thought maybe, just maybe this won't end terribly.

"Adam." She greeted surprised. After Guam, she had been flying solo, always without a back seater, so it would only be her life on the line rather than his too. But now that wasn't true anymore, was it?

"They said you needed a weapon system officer. I would have been offended if you would have gotten back up there with anyone else, to be honest." Siesta said, which caused Grace to smile, even though sadly.

"It's good to see you." She admitted. "And it's terrible that you are here." Grace added, but Adam just shrugged.

"We always did the craziest things, Grace. Why should that change now, just because you have a set of stars on your shoulders?" It was a nice and calming approach to see what was coming through tinted glass of nostalgia. She just hoped that wherever he came from, he didn't come here for nothing other than his own death.

The older man had been her weapon system officer as she got into the super hornet during her first deployment. Always loyally by her side, defending her honour which she had thought off as overbearing in the beginning, but then she had gotten to know him better. Learning that he had three sisters, who he was looking out for and that it would be nothing different with her.

Adam being here was a great relief to her, for she knew she wouldn't trust anyone more than him up there as her weapon system officer. Frankly, he was an excellent choice, she had to let her dad that, he had worked with Bradley and Grace both as a team. This might work after all.

If only she would know what to do now.

Seeing Adam again left a nostalgic taste in her mouth. Grace reminded that they have worked well together before. That they were the fucking best, once upon a time. For after a few difficulties in the air and differences in opinion about how to best approach and manoeuvre in the beginning, Bradley and Grace had headbutted often enough to somehow understand how the other one thought and worked, which made them into a quick and formidable team back then.