Living with cake

-two-

Kendall rushed to hug her sister the minute we got to the restaurant.
"I'm so sorry we're late it wasn't intention." Kendall apologized sitting down in the booth right next to her little sister.

I sat with Cara. Poking her occasionally just to annoy her.

"We are like 2 minutes late c'mon"
-----------a couple boring conversations between Kendall and Kylie later-------

"Can I stay with you?"  Kylie asked
My eyes snapped up from my pancakes and my stomach turned from the thought.
"Of course whatever you need"

I elbowed Cara and she choked quietly.
"You can't let that happen!" I said in a hush tone not wanting Kendall to hear
"Why not what's the big deal?"
"We can't live with a pest."
"I mean we live with you so can it really be that difficult".

Then Cara joined their conversation about whatever caused her and her boyfriend to separate the way they did.
My mind drifted to Chris, but I shook it out my head and continued to eat silently.

"You never told us, how'd your application go through" Kendall said and I was magically brought back into the conversation.
"It wasn't accepted they said I was a child and I should be eating fruit snacks and watching Sesame Street."

A couple weeks back I sent in an application to universal studios as a social communitarian but it fall through and I tried to convince myself that I didn't need that to be happy.
I hadn't told kendall because I hated disappointing her.

"Why didn't you tell me?"
I shook my shoulders
"You never asked." I responded before going back to my now cold breakfast

"If it isn't the lovely jenners" sammy wilkinson said before pushing Kylie to the side and moving in,
I moved over slightly and Nate moved
in too.

"Delevingne?" Sammy gave her a head nod
And she replied in her uniquely unique accent.
"Twat"
"Is it me or are you always lightly salted" sammy said before grabbing her fork and plate eating the rest of her waffles.

"Where has you been" Nate whispered in my ear
"Here, well not technically here I've been here a lot though" I said matching his quiet voice

"You know what I mean."
"I don't believe I do."
"We are heading to vid-con  we'll give you a ri-"

"I would rather not."
"Madison, what's been going on with you, everyone missed the shit out of you and your sitting here eating pancakes"
"Damn your right I should've gotten waffles"

I joked awkwardly trying to ignore the sudden pinch of guilt and inner sadness I felt.
"Is it Chris-"
"No-" damn I answered that too quickly
"It's been 2 months. How is this still bothering you?"
" Nate I'm fine I just wanted to get out the lights for a while"

"Some of your own fans think your dead while others think your pregnant."  Sammy said finally making me and Nate's private conversation no longer private

I hadn't honestly thought much of my fans honestly I never knew I had 'fans'
On many occasions I'd go on stage as a stand up comedian and I sold well. Well enough to get a change to perform at Madison square garden to which I decline because of my own laziness. It didn't seem as much of a big deal to me.

I shot sammy a confused look " Oh yeah and by the way you have fans" sammy said.
"Please come with us." Nate said
"I would really rather not."  Nate sighed and I felt bad.

"Dude it's more than just you being there for your fans it's your friends we need you and your advice what happened between you and Chris sucked but he's fine I don't see why you're acting like some weakling for as long as I've known you you've been nothing but strong" sammy said before getting up.
"If you want to be that sad girl who will forever be stuck up her ex's butthole than being that sexy confident black woman that I remember then you've lost my respect all together, we'll be at the stafford hotel but only for a couple hours."

Nate got up and they both walked away.

"What are they talking about-"
"Oh you didn't know.. Princess has been hiding" Cara said before getting up
"What is she talking about?"
"Nothing I've just taken a bit of a stop. I just need to be by my self for a while."

The drive home was even more uncomfortable.

The moment I got home I just ran straight to my room but moments later there was a knock.

"Can we talk" Cara's voice filled my ears and I got up to go open the door.

I walked back to my bed and sat down and she followed.
"Aren't you supposed to be working on the new movie?"
"I'm needed there at 1 not now" she picked up a small teddy bear. Gerald from my night stand.

"I feel as though I'm a little too hard on you" she said
"A little?"
"Shut up I am trying to apologize- look I am not sure what happened in your past I only know the basic backstory but I can see that you are sad deep inside. But look at you, you have thousands of friends, a lot of love from every corner of your life. Don't let any monsters think they can have a go at you."

She grabbed my remaining bag of Doritos from my nights stand and got up to leave.
"Cara?"
"Yeah"
"Thank you"
She smiled before continuing.

Guess who's going to vidcon.