I Will Hold Your Hand Gently

Chapter 52: The Strange Reward

Zwei didn't say a word after I spoke. His eyes were fixed on the burn scars along my arms, lingering there in silence. His gaze felt heavy, as though the marks were a reminder of his mistake of almost harming his most precious person, Alice. My heartache from understanding Zwei's thinking. I wished I'd thought to bring a shawl or a jacket—something to hide these mmarks 

No one had told me how or why Zwei had slipped into a Berserk State, but even I could tell it hadn't been caused by anything natural. What disturbed me most was the timing. Just as that bastard of a father dragged me away from the ballroom, Zwei lost control, and then the rift appeared, ripping through the sky inside a palace fortified with barriers woven by the strongest Espers. He and I left the roo., What a perfect timing, a coincidence.

"Esper Shawn said it'll take a few more months for the burns to completely heal," I said, forcing a smile as I awkwardly lifted my arms in a small, half-hearted cheer. 

"So... it'll be like it was never there to begin with!"

The words hung in the air like an echo. Zwei didn't respond. He just kept staring at the burn marks on my arms. Around us, the garden was still, wrapped in a gentle hush. The summer breeze stirred the leaves, making them whisper softly above the gazebo. Sunlight filtered through the canopy in shifting patterns, warm and golden. The scent of blooming florals- lavender, hyacinth, and something faintly citrus- drifted through the air, soothing and bright. And yet, despite the beauty surrounding us, the silence between us felt strangely delicate, like glass stretched thin, waiting to crack.

We sat there for what felt like minutes, with nothing but the soft rustle of leaves and distant birdsong filling the space. My heart beat too loudly in my chest, loud enough that I wondered if he could hear it. He was staring at the burn scar, but having those yellow gem eyes on me was making me extremely shy and jittery. I didn't know whether to speak again or if breaking the quiet would shatter something I couldn't fix. 

Then, at last, Zwei spoke. His voice was calm and smooth like still water, but something about it felt too rehearsed—like a line he'd memorized for a performance.

"...As Her Majesty requested, I thank you," he said, his topaz eyes never quite meeting mine. "For saving me from the Berserk State at the ball... at the risk of your life. Thank you."

Wow, that hurt more than I expected.

Hearing those words come from his mouth sent a dull, aching pain through my chest—slow, heavy, and lingering. I understood where he was coming from. I knew who his heart belonged to. I knew the weight of my identity, the house I was tied to, and the history between us. I'd read the novel. I was supposed to be prepared for this.

But still, it caught me off guard.

Knowing something in your head is one thing. Feeling it, living it, was another entirely.

"Her Majesty also asked what you would like as a reward," he said, his tone still calm and detached, creating a wall between us, a business-like wall.

"A reward?" I repeated, blinking in surprise. 

Alice had written to me before, extending a gracious invitation to tea... but she hadn't mentioned anything about a reward. Maybe because I hadn't replied to her letter, she asked Zwei to pass on the question instead. A quieter way of offering thanks when I'd chosen to keep my distance.

"Yes," Zwei said, his tone cool and measured, "You've earned a reward for your efforts... and what you did."

It felt like he was testing me. No, he was testing me, just like always. That quiet edge in his voice and the way his eyes watched me so carefully. He was waiting, measuring, looking for a crack in my intentions. He still doubted everything I said, everything I did. And honestly... I couldn't blame him.