Try Me (18+)

Thirty Eight

Warmth

Yong stilled in the doorway, slowly turning to look at her. He looked at her, eyes wavering slightly as something in his expression shifted. There was a flicker of emotion, a mixture of suprise, slightly apprehension and maybe even guilt, but it didn't stay there for long. 

He stepped back into the room, quietly dragging the desk chair over and  turning it so he could sit facing her. He sat down and leaned back in the chair,  legs spread slightly with arms resting on his knees. Her eyes followed im as he moved, eyes red and swollen, lips slightly separated from shock. The shock of her request and the shock of his willingness to stay.

The silence lasted for what felt like hours. By now she had laid back down on her bed, her duvet up to her chin as she stared up at the ceiling. Her breath had slowed but her mind was still restless. A part of her regretted asking him to stay but a bigger part of her was strangely saddened by the idea of him leaving. Soon even the panic that had been simmering in her mind had began to dull into an easy exhaustion.

"You always this obedient when someone begs you?" she said, voice dry and hoarse. Yong frowned slightly at the sound of it and made a mental note to have Rose serve her some ginger tea and honey in the morning. Perhaps some seaweed soup as well.

The faint flikker of a smile curved his lips. "Only when it matters."

"And does this matter to you?" she murmured, as she moved to lay on her side with her forearm cushioning her head as she locked eyes with his.

He didn't answer right away. His gaze dropped to the floor, then returned to her. "Yeah," he said simply. "More than I want it to."

The air thickened between them as his sudden sincerity was intense and a source of extreme whiplash for Ezra. 

"I heard you yell her name," he added, voice softer now. "A nightmare?"

Ezra's jaw clenched. She nodded slowly.

Yong's hand twitched like he wanted to reach for her, but didn't. "She's not here. She won't touch you. I'd never let her near you."

That made her let out a bitter and raw laugh. "You already let her get to me once and you were pretty powerless to stop it."

That stung in a way that Yong had never thought words could hurt. "And I will forever be sorry for that. " he said quietly. "But let me still try."

The honesty in his tone unraveled something in her chest. She turned her head away, blinking hard. 

"I wish you would just understand that I'm not yours to protect."

"I know."

"Then why are we still having this conversation?"

"Because there's just something about you that draws me in Ezra, I don't know what it is and I wish I could fucking understand it myself but it just-" He paused, as if tired, tired of trying to understand it all himself. He had decided he was just going to embrace this feeling instead of puzzling to figure out what it is. "It just is what it is." 

His words weren't loud, but they settled heavy. She studied him, really studied him. The tired crease between his brows. The way his curls rested messily around his head, his weirdly cute plaid pyjamma bottoms. She studied the way he had his arms crossed in front of him, like it was the only thing keeping him from doing something reckles, like reaching for her.

Ezra sat up straighter, slowly starting to realise what Yong might have just admitted. "You don't like me," she said, voice barely above a whisper. 

Yong's gaze flicked up to meet hers, his posture unmoving.  "I don't have to like someone to care if they survive the night."