Redemption (A Jon Snow Fanfiction)

Chapter three

Jon went to his chamber and as soon as he reached it he cursed, he should not have left her alone. Of course she would be slightly rude, she was only a girl who must be scared and anxious about her new home. He had to be more understanding, he wanted nothing more to have a happy marriage. He decided to bring her some sweet-tasting nuts, Arya loved them and he hoped Sabrina would to. When he walked back to the room with the blazing fire he saw Sabrina in the chair that he left her, Arya couldn't surpress her eagerness to meet Sabrina and was sitting at her feet looking at her with admiration. Jon heard Sabrina's smooth voice answering Arya's bothersome questions, Jon thought that Sabrina would be annoyed by the questions but to his surprise Sabrina seemed to already warm up to Arya. Then he realised, she had no reason to hate Arya she was innocent in the political maneouevering of the two houses. 

'Will you teach me how to throw knives?' Arya asked. 

'Possibly,' Sabrina replied and then smirked. This was enough to buzz Arya with excitement. 

'Arya, it would be polite if you left Sabrina alone, she must be tired,' Jon said. His voice surprised Sabrina. 

'I would like to see my family,' Sabrina said, Jon's heart sank as her warm tone which she used to address Arya was replaced by a sharp tone when she spoke to him. 

'Yes, I presume they are in the dining hall awaiting dinner, I can take you there,' 

Sabrina sighed, 'I am really not in the mood for a huge gathering, thinking about it my father gets on my nerves and my sisters would just irritate me,' 

Arya still hadn't left. 'I don't want to go to dinner either! Jon come sit down and listen to Sabrina's stories,' 

Jon looked at Sabrina 'I am not hungry,' She simply said, so Jon took a seat. The three of them sat next t the fire. Jon placed his coat over Sabrina's shivering body, she felt warm by the insulating layer and her body relaxed naturally by his husky manly scent. 

'Do you know many stories?' Jon asked.

'I know as many stories are there are stars in the sky,' She smiled. She then looked at Jon and surprisingly she was glad for his company, she felt guilty for taunting him so stated with a sight 'I am sorry for earlier,' 

Jon didn't reply so she started with the story of kings and dragons, of snakes in the sand and warriors. Jon felt like a child again as he hung onto the plots of the stories and were intrigued by the setting. 

Arya was shocked as Sabrina described the rattle snakes and could not believe such things existed. 

'My friend Isaac he's the stable boy got bitten by a rattle snake about two years ago, the maester declared that he would die I cried all night, but then heroically my sister Carmen sucked out the poison from his wound and he survived and so did she,' 

Jon noticed how Sabrina smiled at this memory, but then the mention of this isaac person made her face become solemn and she almost looked guilty and no longer looked in Jon's eyes. She suddenly felt disconnected and looked at them as if they were strangers. She got up and seemed ashamed for telling this story to people she hardly knew.

'I want to see my family,' She declared and Arya frowned, Jon got up and led the way to the dining room. He tried to engage Sabrina but she would not meet his eyes and he wondered if she would ever be as comfortable around him as she was only a few minutes earlier. 

Sabrina thought of that memory and she knew she would never be able to thank her sister properly for saving isaac, the thought of being without him made her stomach feel empty and swarmed her with a sense of loneliness. She did not want to be wrapped in her own loneliness and she was afraid that these solemn corridors and cold walls would suffocate her with loneliness. She sat with her family in the dining room ofcourse Isaac did not join them, the starks and their guests overwhelmed her. Their loud dancing and laughing made her throat constrict, she felt like the whole room was spinning and all she could hear was chattering, she felt like she could not breathe. She was having a silent panic attack and she felt like getting up and screaming and running all the way back to persia. Ned Stark rose and cheerfully announced her and Jon's wedding, as he said this she didn't even smile she just focused on the food on her plate and her breathing got louder and louder. Panic rose up her chest and she felt so unsafe. 

'Are you okay?' Her sister asked. 

She did not reply, as the starks joined her family at their dinner table to discuss a date for the wedding she thought that she would vomit. She suddenly felt so sad, she realised how much she left behind, how much she would hate her new home, she was overwhelmed with grief on just how much had changed. She would not be able to kiss Isaac again, she was Jon's now. This realisation hit her like a bullet. 

The words tumbled out of her  'Where is Isaac?' She asked Her father, the starks were silenced. 

'Who is isaac?' They asked.

'The stable boy,' He replied 'She just must be wondering about her beloved horses, He is setting up the horses.' 

Both he and Sabrina knew that she cared more for Isaac than the horses at this moment in time, she was overwhelmed with such panic that she just needed Isaac to make her feel secure, to make her realise that actually nothing had changed that significantly. She needed one of his hugs just to make her feel okay. 

Jon smiled 'So you like horse-riding?' He asked.

No this was not the time for awkward conversation with Jon Snow, she needed to leave the dining room and she got up.

'Excuse me I feel a bit unwell,' She said politely and scurried off, she groaned as she left the dining room and stood outside by the barns breathing heavily. 

She groaned as she saw Jon Snow behind her.

'You didn't have to follow me,' She said, it came out ruder than she intended. 

'I just wanted to see if you were okay, I can get a maid to lead you to your chamber,' 

No she didn't need sleep, she needed isaac but all she said was 'Yes please,' 

Jon nodded politely. She felt betrayed by her family she thought that they loved her but why would they set her up for this? She felt like she could trust no one and without isaac in sight a whole wade of loneliness overwhelmed her and she was in desperate need of human connection. For someone to hold her, to tell her it will be alright. 

As Jon walked of to get the maid she involuntarily found herself saying 'Jon,'. He stopped in his tracks. She sighed and then stated 'Never mind,'

It was only when she got to her chambers, and was tucked into her bed that the tears finally fell down. The room wasn't very nice because it was temporary, soon after her wedding day she would sleep with Jon. Tears soaked her blanket but she didn't mind, her tears were the only familiariality in this strange place. She realised that she was still wearing Jon's thick coat that smelt like husky manliness and she was glad.