Bae || n.g.

Chapter 18

Ireland's POV

I instantly burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I'm so sorry," Dr. Izma kept apologizing over and over again. I could tell Nash was trying to be strong but he had tears threatening to spill over.

"Why did my symptoms suddenly come up so quickly. I've had these bad nose bleeds for the past year or so but the fatigue and loss of appetite came on within a few days. What could be the cause of that?" I said through my tears.

"Everybody's symptoms are a little different. Yours are just a little more unique," she explained softly.

"So what are we going to do?" Nash asked.

"Well, I know you guys are travelling and we've been keeping you guys back here longer than you're supposed to be, so I'm going to allow you to travel until the end of your tour. I'll send all of your medical records and case to the hospital closest to your location and call you with the name of the hospital. I'll make sure you're taken care of. I promise," the doctor said. I nodded. We stayed for a few more minutes to get some information and sign out of the hospital.

On the drive back to the hotel, I couldn't help but think how this would effect everybody else. Lat and Koko. My parents would probably just send me money and pay for the bills. I haven't spoken to them almost the entire time I've been gone. I thought about Cam and Matt and Shawn and Hayes and Taylor and Jake and Jacob and Aaron and the Jacks's and my fans.

"How am I going to tell everybody?" I looked at Nash.

"We'll tell the family first. Then we'll deal with the fans. Everybody has been wondering what happened since you collapsed. Let's wait until we get Orlando to tell the fans." I nodded. And tears silently streamed down my face as we drove to the hotel. We had to arrive in the conference room by 5:30 to discuss things "pre-Ireland-accident". As soon as I got out of the car, Nash was hugging me. I weakly threw my arms around his waist. I didn't care that my face was directly in his arm pit, it was just nice to have him hug me. I pulled away softly and wiped his now-fallen tears away.

"Nash, I'm going to be ok? Okay?" he nodded and smiled.

"We need to be happy when we get in there," he said. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and ran in through the doors and to the conference room. I was laughing loudly and pounding on his butt to let me down. Once we got into the conference room, we realized we were ten minutes early.

Nash instantly kissed me all over my face. I brought his face to mine and kissed him passionately. My hands ran through Nash's hair and his hands rested on  my waist. It quickly got a little too heated and right as Nash pulled away, Bart, Matt, Cam, Koko and Lat and everybody else burst into the room. Cam was the only one paying attention to us and instantly started laughing.

"Cameron?" Bart questioned.

"Maybe we should come back later. It seems we interrupted something," he said in between laughs and gesturing to us.

Nash was extremely flushed and his hair was all a mess. I'm guessing I looked the same if not worse. I fixed my shirt and redid my ponytail. Everybody started chuckling. Koko made a disgusted face.

"This why I think that the next hotel we're in, Nash and Irish should have their own room to themselves," Lat said. Everybody laughed a little harder including Nash and I. And for a second, I forgot what was going on. Then it all came back to me.

"Ok, everybody take a seat," Bart said after we had all calmed down. We talked for about an hour about some things we should change and things like that.

"Ok, does anybody else have anything?" Bart said. I looked at Nash and smiled.

"Irish does."

"Oh gosh, you're not pregnant are you?" Carter exclaimed. I smiled and shook my head. Nash grabbed my hand.

"We are going to keep this secret for a little bit so you guys can't say anything on Twitter or anywhere online," I said looking at everybody individually.

"Well, what is it?" Johnson said.

"As you guys know, I collapsed at the last event I was at so Nash took me to the doctor. I got a CAT scan. I have leukemia. Stage 2." I said, tearing up a little. Lat instantly pushed away from the table and ran around it to give me a hug. Koko got up and ran out the door.

"I'll go get him," Hayes said. Other than that, everything was silent. Tears welled in my eyes and I burst out crying. Lat was still wrapped around me. It was quiet for about ten more minutes. Matt and Cam were close to crying, Nash was crying along with me and Lat.

"They caught it early so I'm being treated faster. I'll still do events and everything. Nobody can say anything to the fans. Especially the fans. I'm going to tell them at the Orlando event. I don't want anybody asking me if I need help or if I need anything. I'm not totally helpless. I will be at weekly checkups at every stop but other than that things should be normal."

Everybody nodded their heads slowly.

Hayes came in at the exact moment I looked at Nash.

"He won't open the door. He's in the bathroom," he said. I nodded and followed him up to Koko's hotel room.

"Koko?" I asked calmly while knocking on the door softly. I heard a small sniffle.

"Kosovo," I said a little louder.

"What?"

"Can you let me in?"

"Are you with anybody?"

I looked towards Hayes and Lat and nodded for them to leave. Once they left, I knocked on the door again.

"Can you let me in now?"

The door clicked and and I slowly opened it. Koko was sitting in the bathtub with tears streaming down his face.

"Come sit in my office," he said with a small smile. I smiled back and folded my knees into the porcelain tub.

"Koko-"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you have to get it?"

"Because. I'm supposed to. It's why I'm here," I responded.

"I don't want you to have it though," he said. More tears started running down his cheeks.

"I wish it was me. Not you. Nobody in our family has had this before so why do you get it. It should've been me all along. It should've been me-" I instantly cut his rambling off.

"Kosovo, I wouldn't wish this in anybody else. Yeah it sucks but it's better that I get it than you." I said.

"Boys aren't supposed to cry," he said wiping the tears away only to be replaced with new ones. His sobs began to wrack his body. I crawled over and held him in my arms.

"Boys can cry just as much as girls do. It doesn't matter. You can cry as much as you need."

We ended up sitting in the bathtub for another half hour before deciding to climb out and be with the others. We walked out with my arms still around his medium frame.

"Are you ok?" Lat asked Koko the second we got down to the conference room. He nodded and ducked from under my grip.
I was bombarded in a huge group hug from everybody. I leaned my head against Nash's and smiled. I was so glad I had these boys.

•••

Ok so this was a very short chapter because I was just finishing a draft and wasn't sure where I was going with it but I have an idea for a different chapter sooooo. Yeah.

SOTU: Beautiful by Matthew Mayfield

xoxo,
Elle