Heaven Can't Wait ۞ Baldwin IV

XV - Lamb

Perhaps the opportunity for rest would not present itself as easily as Lluna had suggested to Baudouin. Preceding their grand first public appearance, a smaller yet unavoidable one awaited only her.

Tall palm leaves from the courtyard below covered a great portion of the upper view in the gallery. But once the angle changed with the queen's advance, the front of her chambers came into view and revealed the imagery that Lluna had forgotten would be there; her mother, sitting on a bench with her other daughters around, all pensive, all downcast. Safiyyah on her lap, enviably oblivious.

Yet, the moment Aisha saw her, the big sister's teeth flashed a grin, and she rushed forward to meet her halfway.

"Val!"

That someone would wait for her with open arms like that—when the rest were already looking at her from a safe distance—made Lluna's spirit flutter for a moment.

The biggest of the sisters mouthed a tender 'ohh' as she lifted Lluna up. When doing so and squeezing her waist, she complained with a soft grunt, which had nothing to do with Safiyyah's excited scratching on her legs.

"Hmmph."

Aisha instantly put her down, slight concern narrowing her hazel eyes.

"Are you all right?"

Lluna could only reply with a nod as her mother spoke up. She too spoke gently.

"She is a queen now, not just your sister; be mindful of the way you act toward her."

"It is fine, mother," the Queen herself stated. The overly-cautious statement seemed unnecessary.

"Appearances make a difference."

"Toward what, exactly?"

Juliana's expression said 'don't make me list it all'. So Lluna did not.

It discouraged her to find her mother so distant that morning. Would she not inquire a thing? It would be best if she did not, yet these appearances were already being kept... in a lie. And the lie was starting to weigh her soul down.

Salma did ask. Vaguely.

"How do you feel?"

Darkened skin under her eyes might have prompted the question. Lluna always had somewhat shadowy lids, as if a naturally-occurring layer of kohl coated them. But they were darker, deeper than usual that quiet morning.

Quiet in all the wrong ways, as it made perceptible noises that were otherwise usually buried under proper courtly clatter; hushed comments, from servants and lowly courtiers—some of them looking up from the galleries below—they could all be sensed, floating like dense fog compressing the air.

Even though they could not be made out entirely, they still managed to cause an effect.

And Lluna's mood had somehow been struck with something, something sharp and nasty all of a sudden. Her tongue swung like a blade from her mouth.

"I am not suddenly sick, if that is what you all fear the most." Her head traced lines amongst the group, and calculated how they converged on her. She could not help but point it out, without accusation, but with a gentle string of voice. "Distance is not invisible. Nor intangible."

Trying to correct the impression, Fatima made her foot brave a step forward.

"Val..."

"No, I understand."

It was Juliana who approached fully and took her hands into her own. Her eyes still as red as the day before.

"I do not—We do not think you are infirm like him, Llunica. But you do look unwell... We worry."