Your eyes opened slowly and you sat up, yawning and stretching. You had a strange feeling that you were being watched so you smacked your lips and craned your neck around to look behind you.
Your eyes shot open with surprise and you jumped up, seeing that your fairy godmotherfucker was there. You decided that was a good nickname for him so yeah.
"Hey sis," he said with half-lidded eyes and a weird-ass wide smile as he waved at you half-heartedly. You smiled crookedly and awkwardly waved back, "Uh, hi. Were you watching me while I slept?"
He blinked one at a time before nodding slowly, "Welp," you turned straight around and started walking without a second glance. Soon, however, you started hearing footsteps following behind you, "Hold up my motherfuckin' miraculous sister, there's a lil something I got to motherfuckin' tell ya."
You stopped and sighed, turning around, "That potion didn't work and you're a liar," you crossed your arms over your chest and huffed.
"Well that's why I'm all up and motherfuckin' here," he kept the lazy grin on his face and you just looked at him, eyes watering and lip quivering. He stopped grinning after seeing your face and was about to reach out and hug you but you pushed him away because hugging him while he was wearing that would be awkward.
You sniffed, "Senpai will never be mine," you mumbled, tears rolling down your cheeks now. Your fairy godmotherfucker frowned, "Nah sis, you just gotta get the right shit. That's what I motherfuckin' got right here," he said, pulling something out of thin air. No, he literally pulled it out of thin air. Like holy shit, how did he do that. Oh well.
You looked at the object blankly, "That's just another stupid fake potion," you frowned, seeing that it was a cobalt blue liquid in another bottle.
"Not stupid nor fake, motherfucker. This one is for real, I motherfuckin' promise," he put that lazy grin back on his face, "It will make you so motherfuckin' lucky if you drink it, you might even have a chance with your sin pie if you see that motherfucker again."
"Ahem, that's SENPAI to you, sir. Not 'sin pie'," you narrowed your eyes at the makeup-wearing fellow.
"You'll have a chance with your motherfuckin' senpai if you drink it, sis," he corrected himself. You sighed, "I swear to gog if this doesn't work I'll kill you."
"Alright with me," he grinned and shoved the bottle of blue liquid in your face. You scrunched up your nose and took it from him, popping out the cork and taking a sniff.
It smelled like iron and.. fire? It smelled like all the irons in the fire. Smelled like some sick fires, yo. And if it smelled like that, what could be so bad about it?
You took one last look at the liquid before pressing it to your lips and closing your eyes, tilting your head back as the contents went into your mouth and HOLY SHIT, IT TASTED DISGUSTING. YOUR SENPAI WAS RIGHT.
Your eyes shot open and you threw the bottle to the ground much like your senpai did, spitting the blue-ness all over your fairy godmotherfucker. Great, now he looked like he murdered a smurf and it looked like you ate one. He seemed unfazed by it, though.
"THAT SHIT WAS DISGUSTING HOLY FUCK WHAT WAS THAT IT TASTED LIKE THE MOST BITTER IRONS IN THE HELL FIRE EVER DID YOU KILL EVIL SMURFETTE FOR THAT SHIT OR SOME SORT OF WEIRD BLUE PERSON WITH A BITCHY ATTITUDE BECAUSE I AM NEVER EVER IN MY WHOLE LIFE EVER DRINKING THAT AGAIN I CAN'T BELIEVE I TRUSTED YOU HOLY FUCK MY SENPAI WAS RIGHT ABOUT IT TASTING DISGUSTING BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT KIND OF BITCHY BITTER BLUE LEMON DID YOU KILL FOR THIS SHIT AND IT HAD TO BE BLOOD WASN'T IT HOLY SHIT MY TASTE BUDS ARE SCARRED FOR LIFE-"
Then your fairy godmotherfucker just tackled you to the ground and slapped a hand over your mouth, "Shh.." Was the only thing he said as he looked around suspiciously. God damn you were so pissed right now, you wish you could punch him but he had you pinned down and OH GOD HIS COD PIECE IS TOUCHING YOU I REPEAT HIS COD PIECE IS TOUCHING YOU CODE RED CODE RED ABORT ABORT.
You shrieked and kneed him where the sun don't shine. He made a weird honking noise before jumping off of you.
Your elbows supported you as you sat up half-way, looking at the purple dressed man. He was on the ground and holding his poor crotch that you just knocked. Then after a while of awkward silence and you not moving or doing anything like an idiot, he looked up at you. Or more like glared up at you. A sickening, evil glare that was accompanied by a snarl. And his eyes were.. red?
'Well shit now I'm dead,' you thought. You decided to be smart for once and jump up, running as fast as you could from the wounded and angry clown. Oh god holy shit, you heard honking coming from behind you, as well as footsteps.
"Honk HONK honk HONK honk HONK," he repeated in differing tones. Wow this was actually sort of really out of character for that clown dude, I didn't know he could get pissed off that easily. But then why didn't he get pissed off when Caliborn shot him like twenty million times in the chest?
Ah, what the hell do you know. Wait shit you weren't even supposed to know that. I really need to stop breaking the fourth wall. Just go with it, it's a fanfiction damn it. Anyways, back to the story.
God damn you were so screwed. You started panting as your heart raced, taking a small peek behind you and finding out that he wasn't there anymore. You sighed in relief before slowing down, although you were a bit confused as to how he could disappear that quickly.
That is, until you looked back in front of you.
"Lights out, sis."
Everything went black. Lights out indeed.
