I look down, pondering on the situations of getting down. I could jump. No, I might break my feet. I could climb down. Too bad there's nothing to really climb on. And just like that, I came out of ideas. I didn't know what to do as usual.
"Honey, open up your door. Let's talk." my mother calls, jiggling the dorrknob.
"I don't wanna talk to you!" I scream, "I'm sick and tired of you guys comparing to Holly. All right, I get it. I'm not your smart daughter you wanted. I'm nothing compared to dreams and expectations. But it's who I am. Why can't you guys just accept it?!"
Silence comes from behind the door.
"That's what I thought," I answer, no longer caring what my so called mother had to say.
My mother mumbles something I can't understand or care to hear. So I don't answer.
"I'm sorry," she states while my eyes open with astonishment, "I'm sorry we treated you this way. I'm sorry that you--we---compare you to Holly. I'm sorry about everything."
I step away from the balcony and go to my door.
She doesn't mean it, I think to myself but say something else out loud.
"Really?"
"Truly."
I stride over to my door and unlock it. There she is. On the ground, crying, when her voice sounded so strong just a few seconds ago.
"Mom?" I ask, wondering if she is stable enough to talk.
"Yes."
"I love you," I say as I fall to my knees and hug.
Tears falling out of my eyes as well. I didn't know how my mom and I looked at that moment but all I cared about was making her feel better. My mom was taking Holly's death hard and I was being selfish. My mom astonishes me sometimes and others she amazes me. Her voice can sound so strong and confident when she doesn't feel--or look like it, as in this matter--it at all.
"Well I'm sorry I was being selfish and not thinking of the effect this had on others." I whisper to her.
"Do you know how much we miss her?"
"Mom. We all miss her. That's sorta an understatement."
She laughs. For once, in a tense situation as is this one, she laughs. She laughs a whole-hearted laugh, not like the ones on television. I've never seen my mom so...so...giddy, I guess. It surprises me so when I pull back to look at her, she laughs even harder. So I join in. I mean, laughing is contagious. So we stay like that for a while until my dad calls us down for dinner.
