Clean Slate » a.i. au

Ten

         "You know, you don't have to act brave-"

         "I'm not acting brave."

         Ashton sighs, almost inaudibly, and looks down at his feet as I continue stubbornly walking down the hospital hallway on my own. I've had five days to learn how to walk again – and I practiced whenever Ashton went to see Brittany or had band practice – but it still wasn't quite enough to enable me going somewhere on my own, like to the market, or even down a flight of stairs. Good thing Ashton always goes grocery shopping, not only because I can't walk, but I'd also be at a risk of seeing Brittany at some supermarket.

         I actually can't believe how bitter I turned out to be about Ashton seeing someone. I've completely shut him out of my life because I only want him to myself. I am my own paradox.

         "If you're doing this for your parents and trying to show them how well you're healing, you can hold my arm for now and then-"

         "I am fine, Ashton, Jesus Christ," I hiss under my breath, partly because he's not exactly being pleasant, and partly because I am already out of breath after walking on my own for five minutes. I might have to get my own assistant for a couple weeks. Preferably male. And living with us. And with me 24/7.

         I need to chill. Boy, do I need to chill.

         "Okay, whatever you say," Ashton says curtly, finally giving up. "There's your dad, anyway."

         I look up from my feet, to indeed see my dad waiting for us, leaning against a door, looking at me, proud and amused. "It's like I'm watching you have your first steps all over again," He says with a wide grin, walking over to us, giving me a hug.

         "Yeah, well, I couldn't have done it without..." Instead of bringing my chicken self to say his name, I raise my hand and bump Ashton's upper arm. What the hell am I doing? "Yeah."

         "Ash, hi, how's it going?" My dad smiles at him too, having him smile back. "Come on, she's having a good day today. She actually asked when you'd come."

         Oh, that explains why my dad seems to be in a great mood – my mum is having a good day. Hopefully it doesn't mean she'd ask a lot of questions.

         We follow my dad into an all too familiar room, with two beds and two familiar people in both of them. In one bed Mabel, my mum's best friends whenever her medication allowed her – other times she'd experience confusion as a side effect and temporarily forget she even knows Mabel.

         And in the other bed, of course, my mother herself. "Hi, you two," She grins at us, and I give her a tight smile as she gives me a tight hug. Ashton also gives her a hug- I'm kind of starting to feel like he stayed with me for the exact same reason I stayed with him. Because my parents liked us together and, more importantly, loved him.

         "Look at you two, together and loved-up, makes my heart smile," She grins at Ashton and I as we sit on the couple of chairs next to her bed, my dad standing at the doorway. Probably looking at us with pride. "¿Como estas?"

         I blink at first, knowing she's speaking to me since she's looking at me but taking a second to remember that her and I, along with my sister Emma, used Spanish as a secret language. My dad only knows basic Spanish, Ashton knows even less, it was literally our own mother-daughters thing.

         "Estoy bien, gracias," I smile back at her, her face lighting up even more – if that's even possible – at my answer. "¿Cómo se siente?"