Changes are Cruel // Vikklan

Chapter 6

I left the school, not even caring to go to the principal's office. I don't care anymore. I never did care.

I roamed the streets for hours, observing the outside world I had hid myself from. I looked up and saw the sky becoming so dark. I sighed and ruffled my hair. I looked around, seeing a bench to itself.

I waltzed over and took a seat,looking up at the stars. Twinkling lights shining so bright it gave me some kind of hope. The moon was radiating such a memorizing aura. I let my tense body calm. "I've blamed myself, you're so pathetic." I whispered, looking to my shoes. "You've moved along, but you won't forget me."

I looked up at the stars once more, observing the brights lights. "If there's a million different reasons why you left it all behind," I sighed deeply, "then try me." I shook my head, tears beginning to form. "When love has lost all its meaning, you know, you know I'm not alright. This is where I draw the line, I've tried to run, I've tried to hide, but I'm so badly broken. You know you swept me off my feet, and now I'm stuck beneath the bridge you burned on top of me."

I began to cry loudly, "I'm so badly broken." My voice was ragged and hoarse. I covered my face with my palms, sobbing with no mercy. Everything I stood for was falling. Everything I had came to love was breaking before me. Such a kind soul, always loved and had many friends, is now shattering and has no one. Who am I anymore? I'm not the same..

Something snapped behind me, making me jerk my attention to it. I jumped up, facing the noises' direction. Out of the shadows came Vikk. I began to breathe heavily, stepping backwards. He kept walking closer, until I had backed into a tree and fell. I covered my face with my arms, crying more. "Just make it quick!" I whimpered, completely crumbling in front of him.

Nothing came. No pain, no insults. I looked up from my puny barricade and looked at the wide eyed Vikk, shock swimming in his orbs. I was shaking, trembling in fear and agony. Couldn't he just hit me already and make me regret living and leave?

He lowered himself to eye level with me, bending down in front of me. I tried to scout further away, but I was blocked by the tree. I was crying harder, trying to get away. I closed my eyes, begging he would just leave me. Pleading he would just laugh at how pathetic I am and leave me to wither in my own puny nonsense. "L-Lachlan?" His stuttering voice made me look at him, meeting his gaze. "A-are you not who people make you out to be? A weak imbecile? A gay fag? Are you not that smiling male everyone knows?" I was shocked that he was talking to me, let alone not hurting me. "I-I am gay, a weak imbecile. I'm not the guy who always smiles truly. I'm the guy who puts on such a facade to hide what is inside." I murmured, looking at the ground.

It fell so silent; an awkward silence. I felt a finger push up against my chin, making me look at Vikk. "I heard your singing." I sinked further in my position, completely embarrassed. "Beat me instead of just staring at me! I deserve it." I yelled, clenching my eyes closed. I didn't get pain or a beating. I was prepared, yet it never came.I opened my eyes to see complete shock and agony on his face. "I-I can't hurt you." I was angry, yet relieved. "Why? You never not hurt me before!" I said, tears falling down my cheeks. "You don't deserve it." I watched as his hand began to reach for my arm. Complete fear coursed through me as I jerked further away. He looked upset. Very upset.

I sighed inwardly and calmed myself, making myself look like I was in less fear. I looked into his eyes again, feeling so calmed by them. Never has his brown orbs made me feel calm, it always scared me. What is happening? "Look, let me help you." He stood and held his hand out, wanting me to take it.

I hesitantly grasped his soft hand. I didn't realize my sleeve had fell down when I did, but he must of noticed. He pulled me up, shaking as he grabbed my arm and lifted my sleeves. "I-I caused you to do this..didn't I?" I clenched my teeth tightly as my face saddened. "How heartless could I be? I never knew I caused you such pain." Anger rose in me. "You beat me senseless and never have once saw the pain you put me through?" I tried to say calmly, but it came out more angry. "I'm sorry, Lachlan." He said as he lowered his head, sniffling. Now I just feel bad.

"You better go before your friends get suspicious. They won't want you around me." I whispered, tears blinding my vision slightly. He looked up, regret in his orbs. "I'm sorry. I'll try to stop them if they ever begin to beat you. I will never cause you harm again. Okay?" I smiled weakly and nodded. He pulled me into a tight embrace, one that was so warm. I was frozen as he squeezed harder. I haven't been hugged for years. I slowly returned the gesture, enjoying the feeling. "Bye." He whispered in my ear before leaving the hug and walking away.

I walked home with a smile upon my lips. One so true, I was happy to see it appear. I felt joy rise within my darkened heart, meaning I was winning.

The light is reappearing. I smiled so truthfully. I haven't done that in so long. Are you my medicine for my depression? Could you be the answer to save me?