Changes are Cruel // Vikklan

Chapter 5

I stood up from the floor and dusted my wrinkled clothes out. I sighed softly before hanging my head and walking into the living room. The clock on the wall said 7:30am. At least I have thirty minutes to get to school.

I rushed upstairs and threw on any piece of clothing that I was near. It ended up being my red hoodie, grey skinny jeans and red converse. I shuffled into the bathroom and messed with my blonde hair, fixing it so it sat perfectly.

With a last look at my disgusting self, I ran down the stairs and out the front door. The air hit me like a brick wall as the temperature change adjusted. My house was so warm, yet the outside was freezing. I could feel my lip starting to quiver and my body beginning to shake as I dashed down the sidewalks. In moments time, I had warmed up due to the exercise I was getting.

The red brick building came into view. Hell, is what I always called it. I slowed to a walk as I passed through the front gates and to the glass, front doors. I could back away now. I could run and skip today, skip the beating I know is prepared for me. Instead, I pushed through the door. Everyone stopped and stared, while I put on a false smile and walked down the long corridor.

With every smile I put on, I feel my heart breaking more. I'm so secluded, no one knows who I am anymore. I bare so many scars across my frame, so many bruises by my enemies, that it would send someone insane. Every insult I hear, I act like I didn't care. When really, I feel my legs wanting to buckle and my heart just pleading I stab something sharp right through it. No one will understand this pain.

A shaky sigh escaped past my lips as I slung open my locker and hurriedly grabbed my stuff. Art is my first subject. I love to draw, but it was like that teacher didn't know a lick of the art. He couldn't even draw a smiley face right.

I glanced around the crowded hallway, seeing if my nightmares were here yet. I saw none of them. Strange. I would always see them at this time. This was their usual time to insult me until I want to run and cry in the bathroom. I know I sound weak, but sometimes the strongest appearing people are the ones who are dieing with every breath they take.

I simply shook my head and walked to the art room. Some would be so happy since they didn't have to hear themselves getting called rude names. Not me. I haven't cracked a real laugh or grin since I told them I was gay. I know this moment will only last a few minutes.

I walked slowly into the classroom, taking a seat in the back. I took notice on how the walls were covered in murals drawn by students. There was sculptures on the tables at the front. I was brought out of my gaze when I felt something hit me on the hand between my thumb and index finger. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked to see a red mark forming on the area of skin. A piece of an eraser sat in the floor innocently. I looked around and met eyes with Vikk, who was smirking and readying another eraser to plumble me with.

I opted to just stare at the front of the room, trying to hide back the tears that were forming. I know that little action wouldn't have made anyone cry, but years worth of this violent behavior has pushed me to breaking point. Another ping of pain coursed from my arm. I bit my lip, for the eraser had struck right on a freshly made slit. I looked at where it had hit, looking at my sleeve. Another eraser struck me to my shoulder. This time, I looked down at the object. Writing was wrote on it, Failure.

I shook my head and let my head rest on the desk, where I kept feeling eraser bits hitting me. Suddenly, the bell rung loudly, meaning the beginning of class. I heard the door open and close, then I heard a booming voice, "Hello, class, today we will be drawing landscapes."I didn't look up. I just couldn't bring myself to. "Mr. Power! Get your head off of the desk!"

I bit my lip and raised my head from the desk. I had teary eyes, wet with the streams ready to spill. The world seemed so dark, so faded. I looked around, everyone's cold glares boring into me. I stared down at my desk, begging it would all stop. I felt a numbing sensation within my breaking heart, eating away at the last bits of light I could offer. Before too long, I may become consumed in this shadow of pain I have sealed myself in. I won't stop it..

"Mr. Power! Pay attention!" I jerked my gaze up to the furious teacher, his glare cold and hateful. All of these stairs, all of these insults I can see through their eyes. Beaten to the bone with all of these events. Is this what it takes to breathe? This is what it takes to fake a smile and say that everything is okay, while I break within the confines of my head.

"Lachlan, one more time that I catch you not paying attention I will send you to the principal!" Mr. Smith yelled harshly. I locked eyes with him, cocking my head slightly. I stood up and walked closer to him. "I'll just go ahead. I would rather be suspended or expelled."I hissed. "You won't be suspended or expelled for not paying attention. You will be yelled at and given a first offence." I narrowed my eyes. "I know, but I want to be suspended. So, I bid farewell. Fuck you for being such an ungodly teacher. Your lectures are dreadful and extremely boring. You can't even draw a stick figure if you attempted. Don't teach me to draw when I could draw any location granted with no effort given." I smirked and walked to the door, turning back and seeing his face full of shock. "Learn to draw before you teach an art class. Most of us could draw better then you. That is sad. " I mentioned with no heart before slamming the door.

So sick of this constant ache. It is eating my insides and causing me such pain. I will not return here if I have the power to leave. I would rather suffer miserably in my wretched home alone.