trouble.

go back to sucking ashtons dick

i turned around to face michael, my eyeliner smudged and running down my cheeks. "hey, hey, hals. do you wanna talk?" he asked me, stepping forwards. i shook my head "do you want a hug?" i stepped back and hugged myself. i was a mess and i couldnt stop the tears from falling. i sobbed loudly and turned away to wipe my tears and carry on walking. i passed the p.e corridor and went into the bathrooms to cry more. i push open the door angrily and prayed it was empty. thank god it was. i collapsed on the floor and carried on crying for a minute or so. my sadness then turned to anger and i punched the ugly green wall to my left making both my knuckles bleed alot. i then looked at my ugly self in the mirror and saw that my eyes were puffy, my skin was blotchy and my hands were bleeding so much i couldnt feel them. this pain was nothing compared to what i used to feel. i still felt numb, sure i was crying, but i couldnt feel anything. i washed my face and dried it with the toilet roll. i wasnt bothered to reapply my eyeliner because i knew it would just get smudged again and i wanted to go for that 'touch me, talk to me or look at me and i will cut you' look. i put on my best angry face and left the bathrooms. as i was leaving, i saw a nervous michael waiting for me. he looked distressed. "halsey, are you okay?" he asked me, genuinely upset. he looked like he actually cared. "halsey i know youre upset, but i just want you to speak to me" he sounded like his voice was about to break and his floodgates would fall down.
"michael, you shouldnt get too close to me. im a mess and i hurt everyone. i dont want to hurt you." i said quietly, but loud enough for him to hear me. "i will only talk to you when we're alone and as long as you dont touch me. im okay... lets go."
"hals, what happened to your hands?" i ignored his question and started marching towards the group and sat down, michael sat next to me and he was laughing with his friends whilst i sat there silently observing everyone, trying to figure them out. jack and luke were brothers, mali koa and calum were siblings, ashton and bryana were fucking. they were literally eyefucking eachother the whole time and i dont think they realized it. mali koa and calum are so close, by the looks of it, they tell each other everything and give each other advice; i wish my brother still lived with me. he was only 15 when he committed suicide and it caused alot of pain for everyone, me especially. everyone was happily chatting amongst themselves and bryana shot me a few dirty looks, and i shot them back at her, i had a feeling we werent gonna get on. "so, ashley." my jaw clenched, bryana said. "what made you move to our school?" she asked, rather blondely. for a blonde, youd think she wouldnt sound so dumb, but shes a stereotypical dumb blonde, she was no match for me.
"leave her alone bry, go back to sucking ashtons dick. yes, we all know youve fucked." michael retorted for me, he looked over to me and smiled, i smiled back: genuinely this time. bryana looked as shocked as ever, and ran into the building by the science corridors. ashton laughed loudly, and it caught me off guard. "thanks mikey, that girl wouldnt leave me alone. we had sex once and suddenly she thinks we're dating." ashton laughed and high fived michael. "you saved my ass there." i chuckled a few times but snapped back into reality by the sweltering heat of the sun beating down on me and me in my black hoodie. "arent you hot hals?" ashton asked. i shook my head and looked down. in reality i was baking, but i was covered in scars and my knuckled were still aching but i didnt want them to find out just yet.
for who could ever love me?

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authors note; cheeky self promote! my ig is: hickeyafi ((yes im an ash girl!!)) and so i guess follow if you want??

sort of a filler, so im gonna try to make the next few chapters longer and less fillerish? :))

vote++comment if you like this book :)) comments make me smile, so i will dedicate the next chapter to the person with the best comments and can make me laugh the most.

alsoooo, ill post the next chapter when this book gets 16+ votes,, 50+ reads ++ 15+ comments!!

sorry for the long a/n!!

ily guys! :))

-anny'xo