trouble.

my name isnt actually halsey

"erm, so my name isnt actually halsey..."

"baby you dont have to do this," michael said.

"no, i have to, they deserve to know."

"wait, baby?" luke chimed in.

me and michael blushed profoundly.

"so, my name is ashley and my parents used to abuse me, theres alot more which im not ready to tell you, but i was raped and a whole lot of other stuff. the other day i had a really bad nightmare and well," i bit the inside of my cheek. "i self harmed and passed out in the shower and was admitted to hospital after mikey found me. tae saw my cuts the other day and didnt tell anyone." they were all silent. "do you guys hate me?"

michael came and wrapped his large arms around me so i could sob into his shoulder. he hushed me gently and rubbed my back soothingly.

when i turned around they were all tearing up. "why are you guys crying?"

they all spoke one by one.

"because youre our best friend and we didnt know this happened to you." tae said.

"because you didnt tell us you self harmed, i used to halsey," they all turned to luke. "i couldve been there for you."

they all started rattling off reasons as to why they were crying and then michael spun me around to look at him.

"because i love you and i dont wanna see you get hurt again." he whispered and then cupped my face with his hands, wiping away my cheeks with his thumbs. he rested his forehead on mine and kissed me softly. the door slammed open.

"you!" ashton shouted. "you are such a fucking asshole michael, i am going to fucking kill you!"

"ashton no you fucking wont," calum shouted.

"ashton youre the one who drugged her." michael hissed. "look what youve done, youre one of the fucking reasons shes like this!" he was now yelling.

"like this..." i murmured to myself, hugging my arms around my waist.

"no hals- i didnt mean it like that"

"save it michael, i thought we were friends, but no! you insulted the way i am because of what happened. michael thats not how you treat people you love." i said, getting sadder by the minute.

"hal-"

"i said save it!" i shouted. "get out my house! all of you!"

they all looked at michael in horror but walked out anyway.

i slammed the door behind them and heard arguing on the other side. i slid down the door in upset and started sobbing.

"halsey?" a gentle voice asked.

i couldnt choke out any words.

"its tae, do you wanna talk?"

i slid away from the door, just enough for her to get in.

"take my hands and lets eat." she said, smiling and showing her dimples.

i didnt take her hands, instead i fell to the floor and cried harder.

the fact ashton was part of the reason i was abused really fucking hurt.

"tae can you go please?" i said through broken cries.

she nodded and sadly and left.

i slid to the kitchen on the floor and found rubys medication.

i popped off the lid and threw them onto the palm of my hand. i weakly got up and got a glass of water.

"this is it," i told myself. "this is the end."

i put the pills in my mouth and drank the water.

i fell back to the floor and slumped against the kitchen cupboard weakly, feeling the drugs sink into my system-weakening me.

killing me.

-+-+-+-+-
authors note: ooh, short but dramatic,, yeah this book isnt over yet dont get too happy m9.

im sorry i havent updated for like 3 weeks but ive been really upset and ive had terrible writers block!!

but im baack,!!

i love you guyss,,

-anny'xo