trouble.

princess ash

TRIGGER WARNING.
"hey ashley," my mother called. "your father and i want to speak to you." uh oh. i thought, i didnt even need to look at my mum to know she was stoned and i didnt even need to think to know my father was drunk. again. i didnt go out at first, i stayed where i was. barricading myself in the cupboard where they kept their weapons.
"ashley?" my father called. "im not drunk" he slurred. "i dont wanna hurt you, i just wanna see my princess ash." i flinched and nearly cried. i couldnt let him get to me. "ashley." his tone more serious this time. "i know youre in the gun cupboard. theyre all loaded and there are trigger buttons in there." he told me. i didnt know if he was lying or not and id rather die than go out and face him. i slumped against the back of the door, completely drained of energy from lack of food. with parents like these, they forget to give you food, theyre only trying to get their next hit. i felt the pounding on the door. it stopped suddenly, then i heard a faint whirring in the back. it was gradually getting louder. "ashley, im giving you to the count of three to come out, or ill chainsaw the door down and take you with it." i got up from the door and tried to look around for a window. not being fed for a few days makes you dizzy, and dizzy i was. i tried to climb, but nothing worked. the chainsaw was slicing through the wood with ease. the wood fell on the floor by my feet and my father inched closer to me, the chainsaw stronger than ever.
"d-dad, please d-dont hurt m-e. i-im yo-your p-p-princess." i sobbed. he turned it off and put it down.
"youre right, im sorry princess. come here for a hug" his tone changed too suddenly. reluctantly yet knowingly, i walked forwards and i knew what he was gonna do.
i stepped into his arms and let him hug me. "youre gonna get punished tonight princess." he growled into my ear.

i screamed myself awake. clutching my heart in terror. my clothes wet from the cold sweat. i felt disgusting after that dream, i felt like my body was crawling with insects, imagining his touch all over again. his rough hands touching me in places id never been touched. i decided to go for a shower to get my mind off things and get rid of the feeling my body had. i undressed and stepped into the shower, letting the water fall onto my body, my pink hair cascading down my back. i started to sing one of my favourite songs, second and sebring, by of mice and men. i believe its time for me, to be famous... i started. i got the body wash and my loofah and scrubbed at my skin till i got rid of the feeling on my skin. i was scrubbing so viciously my skin hurt more. i felt like a failure. a walking failure. i felt so worthless. i cant believe i let michael touch me. it felt so good, but all the memories came flooding back all at once. i stopped my singing and collapsed in the tub in tears. i fumbled around for my razor. i found it and smashed it with the shower gel bottle until the blade was alone. the silver shining bright, screaming use me. so i did. i dragged the blade across my skin in various direction, up, down, sideways, diagnonally. after i felt all my anger completely gone. i had stopped crying. and my hands were now a bloody mess. my right hand holding the blade was now shaking violently and i dropped it into the tub, into a puddle of the bloody water. i looked to my left arm and saw the blood oozing out. the cuts were deep, and there was alot of them. i tried to wash them out but the water stung. they wouldnt stop bleeding, i kept cleaning them and they just carried on and on. i gave up trying to clean them and just slumped on the side of the bathtub, the water running down my body. my right arm hanging over the side, the hand covered with blood. my left arm, held close to me. im a fucking failure. my father was right. i made him do those things to me. im a fuck up. i cant do anything right. the thoughts kept coming and i started to feel light headed. i tried to get up, but it all went black.
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authors note:

editting bc i forgot the a/n
THANK YOU FOR READING GUYS!! ILY READERSSSS!!!
DOUBLE UPDATE BC IM AWESOMEEEEE!!

thank you

-anny'xo