21 years. I was 21 years old. How'd that even happen? I was an adult now, but God knows I never even had a normal childhood. I've been an 'adult' since I was sixteen. I was awake, in my bed, 7 a.m.
The twenty first of August. Yeah it was my birthday. Call me cynical but I never enjoyed celebrating it. Ever since my mother died anyway. But thats another story for another time. My throat ached. The cold was getting to me. Sick on my birthday. I smiled a half smile as I realized it was the perfect excuse as to why I wasn't celebrating my twenty one years of existence. My hair fell over my face as I rolled out of bed. My phone vibrated. I smiled instantly. I didn't even need to see the ID I knew it was John.
"Happy birthday babe! I hate not being with you right now. 21 years, you're getting pretty old huh? Haha. I miss you so much. I'll see you soon. Though, not soon enough" I smiled.
I missed him. We had been together for two years now. Though it wasn't easy. I almost never got to see him. Letters and post cards were exchanged though it was hard because he was never in one place for too long.
"Saw the most amazing sunset in Vienna today babe, wish you were here to see it with me. Love, John" said a post card once.
I saved all of them. All the useless emails, the text messages, the letters, the pictures. Everything. It was going to be four more months before his European tour ended and he'd be back home with me.
I walked into the kitchen
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Lisa and Jason screamed. Their faces looked tired. Sleep deprived even. As soon as I saw the kitchen I realized what had happened the night before. They'd spent the whole night trying to bake the cake. Flour and chocolate splattered across the walls. Icing trailed on the floor and a sink full of used bowls and spoons. I laughed. It was the thought that counted. Every year since my mother had died whenever it was each of our birthdays the other two would bake a cake. Tripple layer, chocolate fudge. Yeah. A tradition we had since we were kids. Our mother would spend all night baking it just so we could have it for breakfast the next day while we all sat opening presents.
"Make a wish!" my thoughts were interupted by Jason saying eagerly.
I closed my eyes. Did I even need to think about it? I knew what I wanted. I blew out all the candles. Lisa and Jason cheered and we went about to eating breakfast. I realised that although we might not have a 'traditional' family it was still a family. I loved the two of them to death and would never let them get hurt. They were a part of me as much as I was a part of them.
I put on a sweatshirt and went down to our mail box. Fresh snowfall covered everything in sight. It wasn't even that time of year but snow was always welcome. Unlike my two siblings I loved the cold. I could live in it any day. I almost didn't want to tread in the snow because it would have spoilt the smooth layer that had formed. Getting into my car was going to be a nightmare. We lived in an apartment so we didn't have a garden, because of that we never got to make snow angels or snow men except in the park. I stuck my hands in my pockets. It was amazing, breath taking, everywhere I looked all I could see was white. Winter wonder land. I chuckled. A cold breeze swept through sending shivers down my spine. I had been standing there in the cold forgetting why I had come out in the first place. I ran over to the mailbox and grabbed whatever was inside. I would read it all inside. The bundle was especially heavy today. Relatives from everywhere sending birthday cards, probably to make up for the fact that they never bothered to call or visit.
I snorted. Once inside I dusted by shoes and walked over to the couch to open my mail. The first five letters were from distant relatives I could barely even remember. Typical. I dumped them in the trash. The next letter was large and had something inside it. Where had this come from? I tore open the top and typped the letter only to have a picture frame fall into my lap. I turned the frame over only to find tears forming in my eyes. But not from sadness. From happyness. A bit of both I guessed.
Inside a gold and black frame was a picture of the last Christmas we had all shared before my mother passed away. I remembered the day so well it was surprising. We had had a especially thick snowfall and I was enjoying every bit of it. My mother had made it a point to invite all of our relatives because she knew it was probably going to be her last. I swallowed a knot in my throat.
In the picture I was standing beside her with my arms around her. My dad on her left side with Jason on his shoulders. The two of them were smiling. Lisa was on my grand mothers lap smiling the largest smile she could revealing a large gap between her teeth. I laughed. My grandfather was beside my grandmother holding her hand. We all looked so happy.
I sighed and walked over to the mantle to put the picture up so everyone could see it. I walked back to the couch, one postcard remained. It had fold marks as if it had been folded in two. Another relative I barely knew?On the back in scrawny handwriting I barely could understand read
"Dear Sara,
Today is your 21st birthday. I am so proud of you my beautiful daughter.
I miss you, Lisa and Jason so much. I'm sorry for everything that has
happened. I'm so sorry I abandoned you. I just didn't know what to do
without your mother. This postcard can only express so much. I plan
to visit you soon. Hopefully. Until then, take care.
Love, Dad."
