daily dose of reality.

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013.

So, apparently, my entry yesterday was deleted, but i can still see it on my phone, o k a y then. I'll retype it up later, maybe.

So, today's entry? What's it about?

Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, etc.

So, why the extremely sad title? I don't know. It's just the general idea. 

Today, at school, one of my "friends" (or so I thought) made a remark that really bothered me. Actually, I nearly wanted to strangle that person. I take remarks from everyone all the time, harsh or not. But this one, I'm not the only one affected. It can affect so many people. And they aren't even aware of it.

I'm pretty sure you people out there knew/know about the semi-colon project. I participated it that. not only because I know people who have experienced that, but also because I, too, have self-harmed and thought of suicide. 4/16 was something important to me even though I was very low key about it. But, here's the thing. . . I had a small discussion with my other friend, and showed her my wrist (semi-colon).

Do you know what my other "friend" said? I quote:

"People who did that semi-colon shit are indecisive."

I didn't understand that, so I asked. What did this person say? 

"I don't get it. If they wanted to kill themselves, they should have already done it. Why the hell are they so bipolar?"

And I quote that once again.

The emotions that flowed through my body were indescribable. Pain and anger. It was so easy for you to say that, only because you have never experience depression or anxiety or anything at all.

You've lived a fucking happy life. And I know that for a fact. But, to say that people who participated in the semi-colon project are bipolar? That's fucking low of you. What if I killed myself? What if I took a rope, knife, or anything at all. . . and committed suicide? Would you have said that same exact phrase?

"If they wanted to kill themselves, they should have already done it."

Did you want people to kill themselves? What benefit does it do to you? What if a family member had depression and committed suicide. What if your best friend committed suicide? You really don't see it, do you? Self-harm and depression isn't something to joke about. And even since last year, you've made jokes about people who do that. Even jokes about me. And to think you were my FRIEND.

You've known that I had problems. You know I once have been suicidal. And yet, you decide to say that. Just remember, the next time I want to kill myself, I won't have second thoughts. I'll do it.

You ungrateful cunt.