Broken Guitar Strings

Chapter 31

(ALLIE'S POV)

That was an amazing kiss. We wowed the crowd, so to say. I felt light afterwards. I think it's because...well, let's just say I wasn't 100% focused during the kiss. It felt like it went on for hours, when probably in reality it lasted for minutes.

I feel guilty.

I feel like I've betrayed Lay. I once told him that I liked him and only him. That doesn't mean that I can kiss other guys, right? Or can I do that up until the point of a relationship...?

I feel so stupid. So fucking stupid. Here I am, a sixteen year-old girl who has gone through boyfriends but doesn't even know this. I know this situation is a bit special, but I should still know the rules of love.

But does anyone know the rules of love? Or will it always be a mystery, toying with us and taunting us to take our chances? I know some people spend their lives trying to find a significant other but don't because they never even came close to figuring out what love is.

Why am I stuck with two potential significant others?

Chanyeol is an amazing guy, but my heart points in the other direction. Lay is who I belong to. I don't know why and I don't know how but I just know. I fucking know for sure that in the end he will be worth it. He will be more worth it.

I am caught in the middle of a yarn ball with the yarn all tangled up. It's dark and I can't see so it's really hard to find my way out through the thick layers of yarn. Out...I want out. The world outside will lead me to a good life and a satisfying future. Due to circumstances, there's only two ways out: it's either I choose this path or choose that path. I either organize the yarn and get out myself or leave the yarn and let someone else do it. That someone else is Chanyeol. I know that he will sort out the yarn for me and help me out.

But I need to help someone else who is in need. Lay. He is trapped somewhere outside of the yarn ball and if I choose this path, no one will help me get out but myself. I will have sort out the tangled mess all. By. Myself. With no help.

I'm going to get out by myself.