My girl

31~

*We was warming up for game day played in Brighton at the annex, against Spain.*

I was warming up trying to ignore the hatred that everyone felt towards me and trying to ignore it and block everything out i knew i needed to give everything this game bu ti had nothing left to give i was broken i felt as if i was nothing without alessia she was my everything still is if only i had not of cheated

 i never blamed alessia for any of this her reaction was understandable but it didn't make it hurt any less, i walked over grabbing a ball as i just started doing some juggling. I was just trying to focus and get my head into the game, i look around the stadium eyes scanning the crowd i don't even know who for anymore i felt alone id never felt lower.  

my eyes land on alessia from across the pitch we hold eye contact instead of smiling like we used to we both look away and look at the floor her eyes full of hurt. i look at her i felt so guilty knowing i was the reason she was hurting.

We head back into the changing rooms to finish getting ready i put my jacket on as i zip it up we walk into the tunnel i brush past Ella who already hates me another she shoves me slightly and just take it "nice one tooney" i mutter as i take my place in the tunnel standing behind Millie and in front of Beth.

 feel a hand on my shoulder i turn around it was beth "regardless of what happened everyone agreed to put it behind them and Alessia and Ella said they will for the game so just get your head in the game this is important yeah" beth says i just nod i felt a sense of gratitude this would not effect the team on the pitch. we walk out we sing the national anthem shake hands with the referees and Spain as we take to our positions, i was now in the zone and i knew i needed to give everything to this.

The whistle blows "come on girls straight in" i shout clapping my hands as we rush straight in i was already on Alexia putellas tail arguably one of the best in womens football i wasnt giving her space to breathe i notice alessia was being more agressive this game but she was playing amazing

the first 15minutes not alot happened just we realised spain was alot harder targer then we were used to in previous games, we kept putting the pressure as did they, beth runs through on goal crossing it to me i take a shot but it skims the crossbar going slightly over i crouch down hitting the floor "fuck!" i curse as beth comes putting a hand on my back "unlucky kiddo its alright keep going" she says as we walks past i get up dropping back to my position. the rest of the first half was very back and forth still no goals scored both teams getting frustrated more agitated 

-HALF TIME WHISTLE BLOWS- 

we walk to the changing rooms i walk in after everyone else sitting down sarina and leah give speeches "look we have about 2 weeks left to change our lives we need to win this game all pressure now, rach,and keira drop back help the defense we cannot let them score, izzy you need to push up with alessia beth ellen and georgia, we need to push out give there defense a run for their money" leah speaks well, i just nod knowing i now need to put the pressure on the spanish defense it was gonna be a hard job but i was willing to do everything for the team as especially i had alot of making up to do. 

-WE HEAD BACK OUT ONTO THE PITCH AND WE SOON GET STRAIGHT BACK INTO IT-

About 15 minutes into the second half Spain break through our defense and score, my heart shattered. It was the first time we properly messed up. Spain were going insane, as were their fans. I sigh. We push back and we still couldn't get a goal. I chip the ball through over to Alessia, she jumps, heading it—

—straight into the bottom corner.

The net ripples and for a split second everything goes silent, then the annex erupts. I don't even realise I'm screaming until my throat burns. Alessia wheels away, fists clenched, pure fire in her eyes. 1–1. We're back.

Spain try to slow it down after that, keep the ball, kill the momentum. But we've tasted blood now. Every tackle is sharper, every pass quicker. I'm tracking back, lungs on fire, but I don't care. None of us do. This is it.

The clock ticks into the 88th minute and the nerves are unbearable. Extra time is looming when we win a corner. I jog over, hands shaking, and take a breath. One chance. That's all we need.

beth swings it in hard.

The ball pinballs in the box—chaos, bodies everywhere—and then it drops to me again. i dont hesitate. A clean strike. Thud.

Goal.

For a moment I can't process it. Then I'm sprinting, tackled by my own teammates as we pile together, laughing, crying, screaming. 2–1 England. The Spain fans fall silent; our end of the stadium is shaking.

The final whistle blows not long after, and I collapse to the grass, staring up at the lights. We did it. Against the odds, against the pressure, against Spain.