Take My Life[Ereri/ErenxLevi]

Take My Strength

I don't know how much a person can endure until they're pushed to the brink of insanity. How many times 'loser, worthless, embarrassment' was spat at them until they finally excepted it. How long does it take for that realization to sink in? Well, for some it comes to them at the drop of a hat. While others have a harder time excepting the place they hold in this world.

Over the years I've come to understand the cruelty of this world. The game we're all forced to participate in, even when unwilling to. I'd say the fate that we face can be described by a mere game of chess. Kings at the top, Queens follow next while everyone pretty much just exists to do their bidding. Pawns being the lowest and most trivial piece, a sign of infantry and weakness. Only there to be sacrificed at a later time. Solely there for the success of the higher ups, the noble pieces. 'Why would anyone except those term? Aren't we all equal?' Questions that may come to one's mind. As children we are all fooled in to believe these meaningless philosophies. We're brainwashed into believing that you can be anything you want. That we all start off on an even playing field. That one day you're going to matter. I've learned the hard way to not put faith in those ideas. While it is true that you can aspire to anything actually making it to that point is a whole other story. No matter how much a Pawn would like to believe that one day it can become a King it'll still remain in it's basic shape and status, bound by a set of rules on which direction it can take. I never knew if I was a Pawn. But when I'm being dragged along, barely having the strength to stand, only to be pushed down again, it sure feel as if I am. It's people like us, the Pawns of this world, that are hit hard with the realization of how cruel this world really is.

As I'm walking down the halls mindlessly, something draws my attention. Those multicolor eyes can be spot from a mile away on a dim winter's night. The same eyes that have been tormenting me since freshman year. Eren Jaeger, the 'King' of Sina High School. I would contemplate how someone so beautiful could possess such a revolting personality. His coffee brown hair, his perfectly sun kissed skin, his Adonis like body structure, he would be anyone's prize to have. If only his mouth was stitched shut. People made way as him and his 'crew' passed by, which consisted of the entire varsity football team. My heart rate started to increase as soon as I realized his eyes had targeted me.

"Hey Jean look who it is, sup Fagerman?" That deep voice would have made me melt, if I didn't contain so much venom in it. I refused to respond to his comment. "What's your problem, you just gonna ignore me?" Before I could even get a grasp on what was happening, I was shoved up against the lockers with an excessive amount of force. I gasped due to the impact and was left winded. "Not being shown respect from a lowlife piece of garbage like you really pisses me off!" I received a blow to the face followed by one to the stomach. Blood escaped from my mouth as my head dropped. I was forced to watch as droplets of pure crimson lightly painted the ground beneath me. A fistfull of my raven locks were grabbed and was viciously yanked up. I was once again making contact with one Caribbean blue eye and another Amber one. His Heterochromia is so angelic but those eyes harbour pure hatred. His lips were now dangerously close to my ear. "Now, when I take the time to talk to you, you answer me. Got it?!" His hot breath and murderous tone sent shivers down my spine. I nodded in agreement. "Good" He once again threw me against the metal and proceeded to walk further down the hall, his team following him like ducklings. They snickered as they passed by me, along with the remaining teens in the hall. It's not as if I was embarrassed or humiliated. These sort of occurrences were a daily routine, so I've gotten used to it. But it still bothers me that out of all this people in this school, why me? I never did anything to him. We were even friends as children. Eren, Armin, my sister Mikasa and I were inseparable in Elementary and Middle School. But once we hit High School something changed. His ego and temper became intolerable and it ended with him just abandoning us. Unfortunately he started associating himself with Jean, Reiner and Berthold shortly after. Eren then joined the football team and made captain, becoming the head of the school and my tormentor for almost four years.

The morning bell woke me from my trance. My twin sister was standing in front of me. "Levi are you alright?" I remained silent. "I saw what happened. I don't know what the hell is the matter with him. Why is he such a jerk? And more importantly, why won't you fight back? You're not exactly weak, but yet you continue to let him push you around." She was right, I'm not a scrawny weakling that isn't able to take care of himself. I constantly mouth off to others and I'm not afraid to voice my opinion. But when it comes to Eren, it's just different. No matter what he says or does, I just can't get myself to fight back. Deep down I know the answer why, but I refuse to come to terms with it. "Lee, are you even listening to me?"

"Uh yeah, I'm sorry Mika. I know you're right, but can we change the subject? Are you going to Mike's party?"

"I can't stand when you refuse to acknowledge the long term effects this is having on you. You're absolutely miserable, you never smile anymore, and you have a stick so far up your ass I'm surprised that you can even sit. I just want brother back, not this emotionless corpse in front of me." She paused for a moment as if she were waiting for me to say something meaningful back, but that moment never came. "Just get to class Levi, before you're late again." She left while muttering something under her breath, it was inaudible to me.

Her words stung like reopening a closed wound, but they were true. It was all true. I am miserable. I am emotionless. I am a corpse just wondering around, covering myself and hoping no one notices my rotting flesh. But it's who I am know and no matter how much I would love to blame this on 'him', I know I've done this to myself. But it's far too late now. I can't turn back time and start fighting back in the beginning. I can't go back and stop him from ever hanging out with his 'crew'. I can't go back and relive the good years of my life when we were friends. I can't ever stop him from leaving in the first place.

'Why did you leave us, Eren?
Why did you leave me?'