⚠️Megan G!P⚠️
"There's just something about you that keeps me floating.
You see what's inside. Broken, restored it.
It's unconditional, these days you know?"
-Brandy
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Beyoncé
"Beyoncé!"
I hear Megan yell from the other room. She sounds panicked. Not "the kids are bleeding" panicked, but definitely "there's a bug" panicked.
"Yeah?" I call back, already half-laughing.
"Come here! Hurryyyyy!" she shouts again.
I stroll into the living room and what do I find?
My beautiful, dramatic, 5'10" grown-ass girlfriend is standing on the couch with Mason clinging to her back and Jojo in her arms like she's trying to rescue them from a sinking ship.
"Jovon..." I burst into laughter. "Be so serious right now."
Thank God the house has high ceilings, because if not Meg's bun would get caught in the ceiling fan.
"Kill ittttt!" she whines. Eyes wide.
This girly ass bitch.
Mind you, this is the same woman who introduced herself to me as Daddy.
"Where is it?" I ask, still laughing.
"Right thereeeee." She points like she's spotted a mountain lion.
I walk over and... yep.
It's a spider.
And not a big one.
Not even a medium one.
It's the smallest, laziest-looking little spider I've ever seen.
I could squish it with a thought.
Still, I don't.
I'm a bug pacifist, for the most part.
I grab a piece of mail off the coffee table and gently place it in front of the spider like I'm offering it an Uber ride.
The little guy climbs on, completely unbothered, and I walk it to the front door and let it go outside.
"The coast is clear, baby girl." I say, still chuckling.
Daddy, my ass.
Megan finally hops off the couch like I just rescued her from a burning building.
She turns around so I can grab our son, who immediately lays his head on my shoulder and sighs like he's been through a war.
Dramatic.
Just like his mother.
"Thank you." she says softly.
"You're welcome, you big ol' wimp." I tease, giving her shoulder a little punch.
"Wimp!" Mason shouts, repeating me like a little parrot.
