Fading Away(A Hiroki & Takahiro Moriuchi Fanfic) *Complete*

Chapter 6

Lexi's POV

I feel horrible for telling Taka to not tell Hiro knowing how close they are. The pain of keeping this secret from Hiro was eating him up inside its more than obvious in his eyes. 

I can't tell Hiro.. well not yet.. he has his heart set on having this baby.. even if it means losing me in the process. I can't leave this world knowing he wont have a part of me to hold on to.

I will keep pretending I am fine so everyone will stop worrying, and so I can focus on making this baby healthy and happy until she comes out.

I feel as if it's going to be a she.. you can say it's mothers instinct but to me it's more than that.. I can feel her heart beating and it feel like she is already calling me mommy even though she is barely formed yet. 

I will keep taking my medicine and keeping myself healthy for the baby, but with each passing day I can feel myself slowly fading away.  How am I supposed to tell the love of my life he wont be able to spend always and forever with me? How do I tell him I wont be alive to watch our baby grow up.. How do I tell him that I am slowly dying..

"Lexi?" I snap out of my train of thought to look over to Taka who is giving me a worried look "Everything okay? Your face just went pale... Do I need to call the doctor?" 

I give him a weak smile "No Taka I am fine.. I just need to rest." His expression doesn't change, but he helps me to my room anyways and covers me with the blankets, 

"Let me know if you need anything, I mean ANYTHING and I will bring it to you okay?" I try to laugh but am to exhausted so I smile and close my eyes seeing Taka watching me ever so carefully as I drift off into a deep sleep.

................

"Lexi?" I wake up and see Hiro sitting in front of me with a tear streaked face "Taka called me and told me you lost the baby, how could you tell him to not tell me? Do I mean so little to you.. That my baby too you know.  

Lost the baby? "Hiro, what are you talking about I didn't loose th-" I am cut off by Hiro pulling the blankets away from me exposing a puddle of blood between my legs starting to soak into my once white sheet. 

I let out a scream at I see a purple baby laying there with the umbilical cord still attached to me. 

"H-hiro.. H-help me.." He shakes his head and tosses a knife onto the bed "She is dead... how could you keep living knowing you killed her. That you didn't let anyone know how sick you where and you let MY BABY die because of your own selfish reasons.."

I hold the baby in my arms as sobs violently shake throughout my body "I-i'm s-sorry.. I did-" He cuts me off "Kill yourself... End it here.. Take you life like you took my baby from me..you don't deserve to live, but she did.."

I look down at the knife that lay on the bed and grab it setting the baby down. I give Hiro one last look and that was enough to make my decision easy. The love that once filled his eye when he looked at me was now filled with utter hate and misery I knew that I was the cause for all of this so I pick up the knife and drag it across my throat trying to  gasp for air as blood pours from the deep cut I inflicted upon my self. 

The last thing I see is Hiro smiling and laughing while he holds our dead baby in his arms. 

........................

I wake up with sweat plastering my hair to my face as I gasp for air trying to make since of what just happened.. I hear someone stir and feel Taka sit next to me "You okay? You  look as if you just had a bad dream.."

I look to him and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I let the tears flow as if I have been holding them back for years.

"Shhhh it's okay.. just tell me what happened and I will make it all go away." Taka rubs circles into my back as I cry on his shoulder... Do I tell him whats going on.... I finally give in and explain to him in full detail of my dream and why  I had it hoping he wont look at me any different that he did before..