Ever After «A Law & Order: SVU Fanfic»

Chapter Six: Whiskey

Zoe's POV:

Authors note: Thanks for over 100 reads everyone!! Keep reading for better chapters! Plus, when Zoe's at therapy the video above plays the song she's listening to.

Three days later, at 8:00am, I'm released from the hospital. I haven't said anything to Mom since the first day I got here, and I honestly don't want to yet because it's weird. Jack Ives has been put in jail until trial which is two months away, unfortunately.

As soon as Mom opens the door to our house, I bolt to my room and shut the door. I haven't slept in three days and I'm still not going to bed. At 3:00pm, I'm supposed to go to therapy...which I'm dreading.

I'm just supposed to talk to some random person and they're going to tell me how to make my life less than crap? Uh, no, sorry.

I don't think so.

"Zoe, I'm going to go into work for a bit, I have to sort out a few things. I'll be back in about three hours or so."Mom says opening my door.

"Ok."I say plainly.

I hear Mom leave the house, locking the door behind her. I'm still lying down, I look around my room, my light pink walls and hot posters I ordered online. Next to my Lana Del Rey poster of the album "Born To Die", I see a million pictures of me and Lucy on my board. I turn my head the other way and face the black curtains that are open. The light is shining in my face, I get up and yank the curtains shut. It gets darker in the room so I turn on the lamp that sits at my nightstand. I can't stop thinking about the pictures of Lucy and I though.

I open my drawer and take out my cellphone. I never really carry around my cellphone because I used to lose my old ones a lot. My mom bought me the iPhone 6 last month and I've only used it a few times. I check all my text messages and my voicemails.

I get a bunch of texts from the girls in my gymnastics class asking when they'll see me again, I realize that none of the cheerleaders message me. I take gymnastics out of school at a gym, and I only know so much about them. But the girls I've known for years want nothing to do with me? I text all the girls back and assure them that I'm alright now and that I'll be back soon. I hook my cell up to the music dock and blast 'Can You Feel My Heart' by Bring Me The Horizon. I run over to my door and lock it.

I look at my walls and feel so sick. Tomorrow's Lucy's funeral and I'm so afraid to go. What am I supposed to expect? A bunch of people that know she died and I'm still alive? Damn it.

Lucy's father must feel terrible about all of this. I want to hate him for helping a man he knew was a rapist get off free. But then again, Lucy's his daughter and she was my best friend, I knew he loved her a ton.

When I finally snap out of my mind, the song is still playing. I notice the lyrics more this time.

"I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim."

They hit me hard, I open my closet door and search for an empty box. I take it out and throw it on the ground. I walk up to my wall and tear down all the photos of Lucy. I let all my tears out now, because when I'm around everyone, I have to forget, I have to act like I'm not hurt, or broken. But I do need to forget when I'm alone sometimes...

I open the door to my bedroom and sprint to the kitchen. I open up the liquor cabinet and take out a bottle of Whiskey. Mom might notice because she never usually drinks this stuff, but I don't give a damn.

I walk back into my bedroom, lock my door, and open the bottle. Before I take a sip, I remember all the bad things that happened to me just a few days ago. I want them to go away. I want them to never come back. I never want to be that girl again.