Ever After «A Law & Order: SVU Fanfic»

Chapter Eleven: Father Figure

Zoe's POV:

We're both sitting at the edge of my bed quietly. He looks pretty nervous and it's kind of weird.

"You don't have to explain it to me."I say, breaking the despicable silence between us.

"What?"he says quietly.

"I understand why you left, ok? I can't blame you for leaving at all. It's not your fault, you're an adult, it was your decision to move on from Mom. But...you can't just abandon kids like that and expect them to pick up the relationship where it stopped, you know that, you used to work the same job as Mom. I missed you, Dad, you were gone a few years, you started a whole new life. I know kids with parents in jail that see them more than I see my own. I'm not angry, I just can't trust you again yet, you broke my heart. You left me for another life, while I was trapped doing the same thing...over and over again."I say, in a sophisticated manner

"I'm sorry, Zoe. I'm never letting that happen again. I'm here for you now, whatever you need. Your sister is here in New York with me. You'll get to meet her soon."he says, which makes me feel twenty times worse.

"I don't think you understand. I don't want to meet her, I don't want to remember that stupid mistake that you made a few years ago. I don't want to blame you here, but I am pissed! You were there for me forever and then you just faded away, I had no one to confide in and no one to help or understand me. Now, remember, you didn't answer Mom's calls or my texts after I was raped...you ignored me, you were too busy nurturing your other child... please, Dad, just go away for a while, I'm not saying you've got to go home, I'm saying you can't be here."I say avoiding all eye contact.

"I'm not leaving this house until everything between us is better."he says, planting his feet on the ground.

I look at him for a second, angrily, then throw my coat over my clothes, running out of the house. Amanda and Mom jump up at the sight of my anger rushing through the front door, wondering what the hell just happened.

"Zoe!"I hear my mother shout behind me, but this time, I'm not doing anything stupid. Once I get out the door, I sit at the end of the steps and plug my headphones in. I don't cry this time. I just stare blankly into the street because what the hell is there left for me to do? I can't cry anymore, I can't feel anything, but I'll be ok...right?

I hear Mom come down the steps, she wraps her arms around me as I sigh deeply.

"It gets better."she whispers.

"I'm sorry, I just can't forgive him yet."I say quietly.

"And you're at liberty to be angry, but not forever. Be happy that you know your father and that he's here now. You know about my father...I never had a father figure, I did it all on my own until I met Cragen."she says, which is true, Mom is a child of rape and although I know it hurts her, she never complains.

A few hours later, Dad and Amanda leave the house and it's just me and Mom.

"Hey, you want to come down to the precinct with me?"she asks me, dressed for work, with her keys in her hand.

"Yeah, sure."I say getting up, I decide to change my outfit quick. I put on a pair of ripped black jeans and a gray T-shirt, after throwing a black blazer over it all, I put on a pair of white Vans from my closet. Then I braid my hair into a fishtail and go brush my teeth.

After I'm finished, I lock the door and rush out to the car, after Mom hears the click of my seat belt, we take off.

When we get there, I receive a big hug from Carisi, Fin, and Amaro.

"I think I've missed you the most."says Carisi, with a cute smirk on his face.

"No way, I have, I talk about you everyday."