My Art Book!

Some confessions. Also, Colored: FUCK IT!

So I colored it! ^0^ It turned out a lot better than I thought which is great! ^0^ And I'm NOT using this as mah profile pic! It's too mean, and I'm not a mean person!

☆彡 ★彡 ☆彡 ★彡☆彡 ★彡 ☆彡 ★彡

Note: This part of the chapter is going to be PRETTY long so brace yourselves! And it'll have some confessions of mine that I NEED to tell you guys!

Another Note(This is irrelevant to the chapter): To everyone except Millie_Astral I am going to stop RPing. I just can't right now. I-I just can't -_- Some people are just so ANNOYING! I will respond to "Hey, how you doing? :D" messages like that, but I WON'T RP. The only person who I want to RP with right now is Millie_Astral because she's my bestest friend and the only person who doesn't annoy me when we RP -_-

☆彡 ★彡 ☆彡 ★彡☆彡 ★彡 ☆彡 ★彡

So, I need to tell you guys something. :/ Something that I regret so, so, so much.

Let's get real and mature here, okay? I don't want any rant comments in this chapter about Neko characters. (If there is, I will IMMEDIATELY delete them!)

Y'all can rant about me being an idiot though! I won't blame or hate you. I realized my mistake and now it's time to pay for it.

So some chapters ago, if some of you recall, I put "ESPECIALLY THOSE NEKO ABOMINATIONS" on the chapter of Keith's Redesign, stating that I apparently "hated" those Neko people.

.....

Why?

Just... Why and what the hell?

WHAT the HELL is WRONG with me?!

I'm being such a racist bastard which LEGITLY goes against everything I believe in!

I was EVEN basing my opinion on them because this certain person hated them with a passion!

Again, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!

To be honest, I DO LIKE THEM! No, I don't like them.

I LOVE THEM!

Neko people, even though they're not real and are just fictional, have feelings and so do they're creators!

They're funny and cute and I love them for that!

Yeah, sure, some of them MAY be annoying with their over kawaiiness or whatever but hey, I still like them!

At the time I typed that "Neko abomination" thingy, I actually thought I loathed those neko people but as time went on, I realized I was wrong.

I realized that I was only doing that to "impress" this certain person who I USED to look up to and to "get closer" to said person.

I realized that I was wrong and that I was basing my judgment and opinion on some silly, little bitch who couldn't take being beaten by a Neko person and move on like an adult.

I realized that I was just following someone just to impress him/her! I was trying to be more like him/her!

...

Why? -_-

Why was I so stupid?!

My so called "admiration" for this person went so far as to me neglecting and distancing myself from my bestest friend in the whole world, Millie_Astral ! (Well, she barely noticed it as we RP and talk like everyday, LITERALLY from morning to night, but on my side, it felt like I was neglecting her cuz I wasn't enthusiastic as I always am during our talk and RP sessions.)

Just... Why was I so stupid?

Why was I being SUCH A PRICKY ASS DICK WHO CARED FOR A BITCH WHO I BARELY LIKE?!

Why did I even care about his/her opinion?!

I even changed the Dream Girl a bit for this person just so he/she could like it more! (I made Luna more bitchy ((I HATED MAKING HER SO GOD DAMN BITCHY!!!)) and made Rose less "perfect" so to say in his/her opinion. -_-)

It's just... Ugggggggghhhh...

I was such a FUCKING idiot!

Why?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!

I... *shakes head*

Even though this was earlier in the year, like, April or something, I've grown a lot since then, emotionally and mentally. (Not so much physically as I am forever 4' 9" or 11". Curse my full Filipino blood!)

And with growing up comes realization.

This is one of those realizations.

I, am such an idiot.

I can't even explain why I was such an idiot and why I did all those things!

It makes me feel so disgusted and ashamed of myself, it makes me want to hurt myself!

I am so sorry to all of you for this LIE, THIS DECEPTION, FOR THIS STUPID CHOICE OF MINE!

I'm not even going to ask for forgiveness cuz this is so fucking stupid and so unnecessary!

I'm just such an idiot!

Some of you may be thinking: "Oh, well that isn't so bad! :D Don't feel bad!" -_-

No.

I DO feel bad. I feel REALLY bad!

None of you have any idea how much this impacted me. This whole chapter was just a brief and vague explanation of what happened during this phase.

It was a lot bigger than it seems.

☆彡 ★彡 ☆彡 ★彡☆彡 ★彡 ☆彡 ★彡

This is personally to Millie_Astral :3 Mah bestest friend and mah ohana! ^0^

Minty, you're my bestest friend in the whole world! Even my real life friends aren't as good as you (even though I barely have any real life friends.)

When I got passed this, this shitty "admiration" phase, I realized how much of an awesome and amazing person you are.

Ever since that incident, I've appreciated you more as my close friend and family. (Because I feel we be ohana! ^0^ Ohana means family . 3.)

I'm so happy that you're my friend and family. ；▽；Words don't even come close to an explanation of how happy I am!

You're the one person I can count on to make me feel better.

That one person that I can talk to without being afraid of being judged or neglected or pushed away.

That one person I can actually call a friend! :'3

I hope with all my heart and with all my might that we meet in real life one day! ヽ(；▽；)ノ Nyah!