Scars

three

It took more effort than it should have done to get out of the bathtub. Stepping onto the hardwood floor, the harsh cold New York breeze hits my skin. Goosebumps raise on my skin, who leaves a window open...especially in New York?! It's mid November so you can understand my annoyance. Crap, its nearly Christmas! Standing in the mirror I drop the towel from around my chest, hoping that the bath had reduced the ugly sight of the bruises but if anything, it had only made them worse. In the centre of my back, there is a bruise the shape of Sam's hand print. I didn't even know that a bruise could turn a mixture of green and yellow! Well, as the saying goes..you learn something new every day. Perhaps not the thing I was hoping to learn.

Walking into the bedroom I see a note that Sam had written and left on the bed.
'Make sure you pick me up vodka at the store-Sam'
I mentally groan at the note he had left me. Most women get left love notes or little gifts by their boyfriend but mine leaves me notes telling me to buy him vodka. Alcohol hadn't always been a problem with Sam but this habit started when he lost his best friend 15 months ago. That's also when the abuse started. To be honest, when we attended his best friends funeral is the first time I had ever seen him cry. Previous to this, we had been in this relationship for 3 years. In total, we have been together 4 years and 3 months.

You'd think that us being together since the age of 18 if would be all hunky dory, but it's far from that. I'll admit that the first 2 and a half years were nothing less than perfection. Sam used to grant me anything that I would wish for but now I have to buy everything for myself. That may sound a little selfish but it is nice if a girl gets surprised with a dress or a necklace every now and again. Going out to dinner hasn't happened in as long as I can remember.

As I walk into the closet, my mind starts to run about what I should wear. Comfy clothes is a definite as I don't have to go grocery shopping until 2. That avoids the supermarket rush. Grabbing a pair of grey Nike jogging bottoms and a loose Jack Daniels tank top, I slip them on then crawl back into my bed underneath the feather filled duvet. I press the red button on the TV remote and the TV starts to come out of the bed stand (A/N - do you guys know what I mean by that?). Immediately pull up Netflix on the TV and start to scroll through my favourite shows. I stop and click on Orange is The New Black. This is legitimately my favourite show ever.

This may sound stupid but sometimes I envy what I watch on the show. They look like they are having more fun than I am outside of prison. The relationship and intimacy between Alex and Piper is honestly so adorable. I love the way that they can still have that kind of relationship even after everything that they have been through together. Going through shit is certainly something that Sam and I have experienced. Because Sam is very well known in the music industry, that means that he has roughly 750,000 followers on Twitter and us keeping our relationship a secret was never a choice. As soon as his fans saw us in public together, they guessed correctly of us being in a relationship. But of course nothing can be in my life without drama being the end result. Hate. That's all I received from his fans. Every. Single. Day. Telling me to kill myself, now that's low. Sure, when I did start to receive hate, Sam did defend me and put out various tweets saying that there is no need for it but now all I get told is to 'get over it' or 'ignore it'. Sometimes I even see that he has favourited some of these hate tweets.

Pulling out my laptop, I go onto the web and click onto the Nike store. Thinking that I have worked everyday except weekends and Monday's for the last year without holiday, I deserve to treat myself seeing as no one else will.

After online shopping for at least an hour, I go to the 'trolley' seeing that the total is $180. How can 2 pairs of running shoes and a tracksuit add up to that amount?! Oh right, that's why. We live in the 21st century. As I type in my card details I can practically hear my back account crying. Don't get me wrong, money was no object because I was quite wealthy but I don't like spending money which is kind of crazy for a woman but I do like to splurge when I can.

Pressing the order button, my stomach growls hinting to me that it needs food. Walking down the spiral wooden staircase, I remember that I bought some eggs and bacon last time I went shopping so a grin widely spreads across my face. I squirm as my feet patter across the Arctic like laminate flooring. Opening the double door refrigerator, I eagerly grab the bacon and eggs wanting to consume them as soon as possible.

After about 15 minutes of cooking multiple pieces of bacon and 2 eggs, on my plate lay a bacon sandwich with 2 slices of toast and 2 eggs ready to dipped into.

After eating my, what seems like, gourmet breakfast I walk upstairs again to carry on watching Orange is The New Black and perhaps do some Christmas shopping for Sam...perhaps.

After many hours consisting of watching Netflix, online shopping and replying to a few tweets, I see that it is 1:25pm so that's my cue to get ready to go grocery shopping. Practically dragging myself over to closet to choose some clothes so I can looks a little more presentable to the naked eye. I eventually choose a pair of black skinny jeans, a tan crop vest-top and then picking a black water fall jacket. Strolling over to the dresser I pull out a pair of socks and then underwear. After what seems like days, I'm finally ready to walk out the front door after pairing my outfit with a pair of black heeled boots. Grabbing my purse and car keys as I walk out of the door, I soon hop into my Audi TT and drive off to the store.

---
A/N - these chapters may seem to be dragging (idk if they are so tell me😕) but I have some really good ideas for some events which will happen in some chapters either soonish or later on in the book.

Question of the chapter - favourite Netflix show? Mine is Orange is The New Black👏🏼

My Twitter username is @barritt_l so you can follow me if you want to, I do follow basically everyone back. If I don't follow you back let me know and I will ☺️

My Instagram username is @chels_barritt so the same applies to that as well.

Hope you are enjoying the book and if you have any ideas about what should happen then please message me and let me know!

~Chels✨