when the visor goes down | formula one oneshots

is it just me? - carlando

"are you hurting, yeah you must be. or is it just me?

Lando sat on the couch in his dark hotel room. 

Picking on his fingers, he is trying to forget. He tries not to think about it, even though it seems impossible. 

Max left him only ten minutes ago for the first time after a week, so he is now alone with his thoughts. He knew exactly why his friend wouldn't leave him, but he knew he had things to do in his own life so he told him it was fine. 

It was not, but he couldn't allow him to babysit Lando, just because it was that time of the year. The time of the year where Carlos broke up with him last year. It sounded so dramatic, like someone died. But Lando indeed lost someone that day, maybe even before.

The weeks before Carlos finally called it off, they already were distancing themselves from each other. Carlos started to shut him out and at first Lando tried. He tried to give him more of his love, more attention, more intimacy. Unfortunately it quickly felt like he was suffocating Carlos. It didn't change anything, so he got frustrated. He started fights over nothing, just to see if Carlos cared. Sometimes he did, other times he just rolled his eyes at Lando. It hurt.

It's been almost a year now and Lando wonders if Carlos ever hurt like he does. If his heart stops, when he hears his name at a party. If he ever wants to scream at people, asking why they're not as close as they were before. If he ever sat in the shower, crying like a freak or if he ever sat in his room, wondering where it all went wrong.

It would surprise Lando if he did, considering how Carlos looked at Charles nowadays. He knew the other Ferrari driver was Carlos type. He didn't know if they were fucking, but he didn't want to think about it either. Unfortunately his mind had other plans. No matter how hard he tried, the picture of the two of them together, wouldn't leave his mind. 

Maybe he wasn't with him, maybe he was just by himself. Maybe he was as miserable as Lando was, staring at his phone. Maybe his thumb also hovered above Lando's contact, like his did with Carlos. 

Hot tears now streamed down on Lando's face. He threw his phone beside him, not brave enough to call just yet. He considered calling one of his friends, he even considered calling one of Carlos friends, but he didn't. Right now he was just hoping, that Carlos was as miserable as he was.

He felt pathetic, but he couldn't help it.

Somehow, now he wanted to know. He also wanted to scream at Carlos, wanted to know why. Maybe he just needed to hear his voice. Maybe, he just needed something.

He picked up his phone and called.

One beep, a second one.

"Landoooo." Charles voiced blared through the phone.

Lando froze.

Then he heard the shower running in the background.

Lando hung up.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

Charles frowned at the phone.

That was weird.

When Carlos came back with a very fresh and clean showered Leo, Charles smiled.

"There you are, all clean and fresh. Thank you Carlos."