Wolf Guardians

Chapter 3: What she doesn't know will kill me.

Photo of the pack house in Ireland.

Axel POV

The whole ride from Kylemore to the pack house I can't stop thinking about what she said. That because of me she was able to save herself for the man she was meant to be with.

"She doesn't remember?" Ajax asks. "How could she not remember?"

"Well I mean think about it we had been at a party and contrary to people's beliefs we can get drunk it just takes more and lasts shorter than with humans. She was really wasted her last night there."

"But she almost had sex with Thomas, and we stopped her, saved her. And she told us how much she loved us and that she wished it was us she was mated to. How she always wanted it to be us." Ajax feels so empty, so lost. "And then she asked us to make love to her. So that she could at least know that they hadn't forced her to give her most precious gift to someone she barely knew. She wanted us to have it. Because she said it belonged to us, just like her heart."

"I know, Jax. I know. I don't know how she could forget but she did. Let's just move on. It's not like we were ever meant to be anyway. The goddess chose someone else for us."

"Yeah but we both lost them. On the same day. In tragic accidents. We've both been hurt. It can't be coincidence that we run into each other right after we lose them. It can't be."

"I don't know what it is Jax. But I won't be hurt again. It was fun while it lasted but we can't go on. It's just not worth the pain."

That's the last time I hear from Ajax. Fine. He can be mad at me all he wants. It's not my fault that I don't want to be broken anymore. I'm tired of feeling broken. Besides she's my best friend and beta. I don't want to ruin that again. But I can't keep giving her the cold shoulder anymore. She doesn't deserve that. And she is my beta. I have to talk to her.

"Tell Dillon to meet me in the library so I can show her around and talk about some things." I tell one of the messenger wolves, Hermes. He chose his new name when I accepted him into my ranks. A bit of a Greek mythology buff.

"Yes sir." And he goes out the door swiftly. I begin walking to the library, passing the room that Rae was giving just two doors down from mine. I walk by my office and her soon to be office under renovation. I enter the library and sit on one of the chairs in the corner by a window. She loves to watch the rain out the windows. Almost as much as she loves to dance in it. I sigh staring blankly out the window just as a knock sounds on the door and one of the servants enters.

"Miss Dillon, sir?"

"Yes, please let her in." I stand just as she steps in the room.

"To be honest I didn't expect to be hearing from you any time soon. If I have said anything wrong I am-," I cut her off holding my hand up to silence her.

"Please Mercy, Let me speak." I call her by her wolf's name so as to know I have both of their undivided attention and from the way she perks up and stands up straight I know I do. "I've just been in a funk. There are some things you don't know about me. I fear I haven't been as open with you as you have been with me in the past few months. So over the course of the next few days I will be explaining myself. Also, what some of our duties here will entail. Yours especially. But first let me apologize. I have been curt with you and it has nothing to do with you. You see, I too lost my mate and in light of recent events I have just been having a hard time... Dealing with some of it." We sit down at the table just as a servant comes in with hot tea. Totally English, I know, but quite enjoyable on days like this. She smiles a smile that makes me want to bend her over this table and take her right here, but I can't so I cast the thought out as I continue on telling her about what we will be doing here and what will be discussed at the meeting the next day. "Any questions?"