Love is Hard

Nice Bikini

Justin started pacing through the apartment, while Caleb told me goodbye.
"If you need me, don't be afraid to-" I interrupt stopping him mid sentence.
"I know, I know." I give him a hug. "Thank you, so much..." I whisper in his ear. His hug feeling so comfortable; making me never wanting to leave his grip. Eventually, he pulls away, leaving me feeling colder than normal. He places a kiss on my cheek, like this morning, leaving a warmth that I wished would never go away. I feel my cheeks heat, seeing his do the same. I pull a piece of my crazy, messy hair behind my ear. He turns around, and slides his hands into his pockets, walking away. I sigh, unintentionally, very loud.
"You look more beautiful when you smile." Caleb shoots me a look before disappearing into the elevator. I automatically smile, realizing I don't hide my feelings as well as I try. I slowly step back inside, closing the door along with me. I press my back against the door; taking a deep breath, my eyes closing from these new found feelings. I just felt like running back to him and inviting him to stay forever. I open my eyes to see Justin, looking at me like a gorilla playing Hop Scotch. I would usually shake my head, which would pull me back to my reality. I smile at him as he joins me in the door, his face bunched up in confusion.
"If you act like this around him," he pauses, "Why do you pull away from him? I mean you and I both know he wouldn't hurt you..." He trailed off, which made me come back finally. I turn to my side, facing my brother. He stays in the same position, hiding his face from me.
"I don't know." I feel my face lose its color; this topic always does. "I guess I'm scared..." I start to feel my hands quiver. Justin grabs my hands, showing his tear stained eyes.
"I just want to see you happy..." He pauses, my eyes seeing his pain. "Ever since Peter did that awful thing to you, you have never looked happy." I swallow hard, not knowing how to respond to his confession.
"I am happy..." He gives me a look, proving to me I am lying.
"Okay, you have been recently. That's all because of Caleb." He says, his gaze softening. I feel my face reheat, making me look away from him. "See!" He says in his victory voice. I turn to him, showing my love.
"Okay. What if Caleb has something to do with it..." I pause, trying to talk myself out of my clear feelings. "I mean, he saved me last night, he didn't leave me when I needed him, and he told me not to be afraid to ask for him again! I have a right to be happy around him..." I say the last sentence slowly. Justin smiles, before walking away,
"This is no gratitude. You like him, which is okay; we both know that." I sigh, but smile, knowing I'm in defeat. When Justin is in the kitchen, I feel my cheeks heat. Maybe... No! I can't... Images flash through my mind, making me push myself off the door and move on.

°°°°°°|°°°°°°

"Let's go to the lake!" Justin yells, as I'm in my room. I just got dressed and was finally moving around.
"I don't know if I can; with my hand." I say, sounding more depressed then I feel. I love the lake, I always have. Our parents took us all the time; waterskiing, wakeboarding, etc. Justin comes in and asks to see my hand. I raise it up and gentily pulled the bandage off. He looks at the wound, showing a little disgust from the dried blood.
"You could wash it out, before and after!" Justin smiles at his idea. So stupid.
"Yeah, sure. Then about a week later I have to get surgery to cut my hand off from infection!" Justin walks away pouting.
"Call and ask a doctor!" He yells, still pushing his idea of going. I call the doctor and he says that it should be fine as long as I try to keep it covered and clean it out when I get out. I smile as he gives me permission to go, getting excited. I run to my dresser, following the drawers down the the last one. I pull it open to see Katie's bathing suit; she must have mine... Katie is a very skinny girl, I mean, so am I but she wears skimpy clothes. Her suit is a purple and pink bikini, size -10. I pull it on, and I am shocked to see it fits. Its not as comfortable as mine, but it does the job. I grab a pair of shorts and throw them on over my suit. I get everything we will need, including peroxide. When I walk into the living room, Caleb is there. The heat comes to my face. He walks towards me, a teasing smile placed on his lips.
"You owe me."
"Yeah. I knew that already..."
"No, not that one. I had to call in this morning; so you're stuck with me today!" I now know why he had a teasing look on his beautifully sculptured face. Wait, what? His features turn serious, catching my distant thinking.
"Are you okay...with everything?"
"I will be, if we ever hit the road!" I complain, throwing my hands in the air. I look to see Justin smiling at us; we both feel a little creeped out. A shudder goes down my back, sending electric currents through my body.
"Nice bikini, Iz." Justin mocks, making my cheeks flush. I look to see Caleb's do the same; making him, somehow, look even more attractive. This is going to be one interesting car ride.

***

"Stop singing! You're giving us all headaches!" Jackson yells, making us all laugh. Justin has been singing very off key for the past 20 minutes. I knew someone was bound to lose their mind. I've gotten used to it; he's my brother. We're in my car, but we argued for 10 minutes about who was going to drive. I lost, but I should drive; its my car! Jackson is driving, he's the best out of all of us; besides Caleb, but Justin was bound and determined to make us sit beside each other. The car ride isn't too bad; I've had worse (awkward moments with my parents).
"My singing is beautiful!" Justin states, throwing his hands into a preppy position. He's been showing off that he got shot gun. Caleb and I shared crazed looks about my brother; before laughing together. Jackson clicks the turn signal on, turning into the lake I grew up going to. I always found the long paths to the lake was so beautiful; nature always is. I smile, looking out the window. When the beautiful, large lake showed up into view, I swear I could feel the water on my skin already. Jackson pulled into a parking spot, making me get excited. Justin turned around to me, with his motherly look on his face.
"Now Iz, you have to put on sunscreen before getting out of the car!" I coincidered punching him, but I backed down. I smile, knowing I'm going to win at this game.
"Yes, mother." I say, getting out. I turn towards the car, my back hitting the sun. I place my arms on top of my car, letting the warmth spread through my body. Justin squeals, sending chills through my body. Suddenly my body grows cold under the sun, my body tensing. I put my forehead on the roof of the car, my eyes still closed, not wanting to see who's behind me. I open my eyes to see Caleb looking concerned. I smile, but he senses that I'm just trying to ignore what's going on behind me.
"Izzy?" I hear the ladies voice, nearly bringing tears to my eyes.
"Mom..." I choke out, turning around with a smile plastered on my face. The watery eyes fade, because I know my mother would know something is wrong. The last thing I want is my mother worried. Suddenly it gets really hard for me to keep my tears in.
"Kindra! They still have the little park we took Justin and-" a man is walking towards my mother, but stops when he see's me. "Iz?" He adds, after a very long pause.
"Hi daddy." I say, as he walks over to me and gives me a hug that has been long over due. He steps back and takes me all in, as in an expection.
"You've changed so much! I don't remember you willing to wear such open clothes..." My mother comes beside him and elbows him. I knew he was going to say something, making me feel bad, but I was used to it. Everytime I saw them, he did the same thing. I hear Caleb finally get out of the car, probably confused. My parents look him over as he stands next to me; they both smile at one another. "I also don't remember you dating anyone..." I hear my dad say, and I feel my cheeks blush and my hands sweat. This is going to be one long day.

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- Emuna_Jasmine