That Fine Line

Chapter: 8

Its now or never. Procrastination has always been one of my finer personality traits, though most people wouldn't deem it a personality trait, but I have no choice but to. I knew that putting this off would only result in me never getting it done, and that's exactly what I was doing at this present moment.

I've been sitting on my bed for at least a half an hour, contemplating whether or not I should call Anthony. After going back and forth with this, I decided that I couldn't put it off for much longer, Its now or never.

So I sent him a text. Yeah, yeah I know, its pretty cowardice of me, but right now, the easy way out seems to be the only way out.

"Hey, its me. Chandre', just in case you deleted my number, anyway, look I know this is kind of an all time low, but I didn't know how else to do this- though I can probably think of a few ways. The point is, I messed up big time and I really want to fix that. I've been over this like a thousand times (literally) and if I didn't send you this text I probably never would have been able to make any other attempt to try and sort things out"  I pressed send before I could change my mind, yes the message wasn't complete but at least its a start.

A few minutes later my phone buzzed signaling an incoming text, I opened it thinking its probably Skylar reminding me about our upcoming festivities- as if I needed reminding, but to my utter surprise it wasn't her, it was Anthony. To be fairly honest, I didn't think he would.

'Of course I still have your number, because contrary to popular believe, I'm not that childish. Though you did get one thing right, text messaging me, really is an all time low' .

I read his message over quite a few times, not just for the fun of it, but because I honestly didn't know to respond to what he just said so I called him. He picked up after a few rings.

'Yes' he said

'you answered'

'yeah well that's what is required of you  when you're phone rings' he replied, and if it wasn't clear enough before that I wasn't exactly his favorite person, it certainly was now.

'Look Ant, this is hard enough as it is and you being like this isn't helping much'

'Oh you mean me being real isn't helping, fine, how would you like us to go about this, would you prefer I play Mr nice guy and pretend that we're bosom buddies'

'Well, we kind of are friends Anthony'

'No, you mean WERE, and we WERE slowly heading towards the bosom buddies thing, but looks like you had a completely different idea FRIENDS than I had' he said and I could hear the agitation in his voice.

I sighed heavily because as much as I'd like to deny it, he was one hundred percent right               'Look, I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry that you had to be on the receiving end of my screwed up mood, I'm sorry that it wasn't exactly comfortable being around me, I'm sorry that I made you feel it was somewhat your fault, I'm sorry that I'm too much of a cheap chicken to face you and give you a proper apology, I'm sorry that I most likely messed up my one shot of having a beautiful friendship with an amazing guy. I'm just really sorry, sorry about everything'  I was half raising my voice a little higher and higher with every sentence, trying, but failing to keep my tears from rolling.

He was quiet for quite some time- too quite if you ask me.                                                                                   'Anthony' I said 'Are you still there'. 

'uh yeah, yeah, yeah I'm still here' he said and I couldn't quite make out what it was but he sounded different.  'I just......wow' he said 'from what I heard, you don't do apologies and for you to formulate that much sorry's in one, its kind of big'.