My Personal Diary; My life.

Last entry & an epilogue.

June 14, 2011:

I've really liked writing things here on Wattpad. And I look forward to putting up more stories, but this one is coming to a wrap and I'd just like to catch you up as of right now. I know me and Brandon aren't going to get back together again, he made that pretty clear. His best friend whom I've always thought hated me, made me realize something, if Brandon has no intentions of dating me again, but keeps having sex with me. He doesn't deserve me. I believe he's right. I think it's time to try to move on. As much as it pains me to say that, it's the truth.

Ian and I are no longer talking, he's been advised to block my number and never speak to me again because he's too old for me, and I think that was a wise decision.

Luke and I haven't talked since he told me he was getting a girlfriend.

Connor, I apologized about pushing him to tell his mom, but I don't plan on hooking up with him because I just don't want to, it's not fun for me anymore.

I am turning over a new leaf in my life, as they say. Considering how much of a bitch karma is, I'd like to right all my wrongs. Anybody who I've recently made feel bad, or have been mean to I have apologized to. I almost had Maliki cheat on his girlfriend with me a week after me and Brandon broke up. I apologized to her about that last night, she knew but hadn't said anything, I knew she knew. Maliki told her. So I told her the truth and apologized, I think we're alright now.

As for my friend here on Wattpad we're better friends than ever and I really enjoy his company. He wrote something for me, as sort of an epilogue to the whole 'diary' and asked me if I'd like to post it. I would. But before reading it you may want to consider this is how he thinks I'll turn out when I'm older, it's not a definite thing, and obviously I'm not this old, but this is how he pictures my life in say 15years?

If my writing looks different now, it’s because I am grown up. Since those special days when Brandon and I lost our virginity together, he’s been long gone. Although my climaxes since that wonderful time became far more incredible, my memories of that magical time are still sweet like old wine.

In college the hot guys never noticed my straight A’s. Perhaps that’s because I spent every spring break in a skinny thong and a wet T-shirt.

But I now have a great job, where I cover up my incredible cleavage, and have to wear glasses because contact lenses won’t stay on. Funny, the ordinary looking guys are good in bed too, and real women fall in love with them. One almost married me. He walked away after I told him everything. I just cannot lie.

Am I stained? No, a Christian friend said God’s holy but not self-righteous. When I see him for real, everything will make sense. You know, it has made sense since he said that.

Here I am. You knew my name isn’t really Nicole. I may be sitting near you in Starbucks. I have my self-respect and am ready for a real guy, marriage, and beautiful children.

Don’t be afraid to get to know me. If after you read my diary, you still love me, I’ll know you’re real just like I am. And you’ll be the one. You’re out there. It’s just taking me a long time to find you.