Love You More Than I Can Ever Scream- Sequel to Janxx Mpreg

Times get tough - Chapter 11

((****Trigger Warning****))

Jake POV - 

It has been almost a month since CC found out I was pregnant. I have to admit, my decision was definitely a difficult one. 

However after witnessing how well CC is with Legacy, I decided to keep the baby. After I had told him, he was so excited and left to buy toys and clothes for the baby even though we don't know the gender yet.  

Unfortunately I haven't been as excited as CC. I try to avoid conversations about the pregnancy as much as I could. Every time I just pictured Jinxx-- 

It broke my fucking heart.

I still love him...

I had realised that my depression was slowly returning soon after finding out that I was pregnant. 

I hadn't let CC touch me in any kind of sexual way and I barely even spoke to him. He moved in a few weeks ago, which I'm happy for because at least someone is there to take care of Legacy.

I spent nearly every hour of every day just laying in bed with the curtains closed and the blankets pulled over my face. I'd only ever leave the room for food, a shower and the occasional band practice. 

I could tell everyone in the band already knew I was slipping back into depression. I didn't need to spell it out for them. They'd seen me like this before. 

I needed a drink and I really wanted a cigarette. I'm not sure why either. I just felt like it was the only thing that would take away the pain.

I didn't want this thing growing inside me anymore.. I was sick of the pain it was bringing me. 

There's only one thing I know that could relieve some stress.

I stood up slowly and walked over to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I opened the small cabinet beside the sink and reached into the back until I found a little red box that was hidden behind a few pill bottles.

I took the lid off the box and found an old friend inside.

I sat against the wall and pulled my pants to my knees.

The first thing I saw were old and new scars covering my thighs. I hated myself. Jinxx probably hates me too.

I dragged the thin blade across my legs a few times without making a sound. It didn't even hurt anymore...

"I'm so sorry.." 

|| Sorry I haven't been updating this story. I've been feeling pretty low and I've had very little motivation.

However I'm still writing when I can!

Sorry again for the longer wait 

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