Oh My My, That Man

Message

(Pete's POV)

Two weeks later

I wanted to call, oh how I wanted to call him and apologize and just fix everything. But I knew he wouldn't forgive me. Not after Mikey. I didn't mean to. I was hopped up on I don't even know how many drugs and shit. I ruined everything. Everything I ever loved, everything I ever cared about. And because of one stupid mistake. But this was a mistake that would probably never be forgiven. I felt sick to my stomach. The thought of not being able to be with Patrick... it killed me. From the inside out.

I woke up and immediately started to cry again. I wasn't in my bed. I wasn't with him. I was never going to be with him again. I couldn't stand this. I had to call. But he would hate me. Instead I put in my headphones and turned it on max. I tried to mute the thoughts in my head. But it just made the thoughts louder. I couldn't appreciate the song and I couldn't focus on anything but my own thoughts. It started to physically pain me now.

"Hey Pete.... do you want some breakfast, we are going out to the bagel shop." Andy walked in cautiously.

"No, um I'm good. Thank you for letting me crash here."

He came in and sat on the bed next to me. "Have you talked to him yet?"

"No, I want to, so badly."

"You need to, I'm sure you two will work it out."

"How? I did something horrible and he doesn't even know the half of what I did."

"Because I know that he loves you. He loves you a lot. And I know you love him. And I know it will all work out. You will make up, have great make up sex, get married, and hopefully start a family."

"He'll never forgive me though."

"Hey, stop being such a downer. Just call him."

"Okay fine.."

"Well, ill bring you back a bagel, tell me what happens when I get back." and with that he left.

I turned off my music and opened his contact. It was an old picture of me and him. I had to hold back to not cry at just the picture. I stared. Time passed. And I had been staring at the phone for 5 minutes trying to gather my courage. My thumb hovered over the call button. What was I going to say?

I clicked it and put the phone up to ear.

ring...

ring...

ring..

Was I really doing this?

rin- "Hello, I'm not available at the moment, please leave a message and have a good day!"

He had declined it. Now I had to leave a message.

Beep.

"Hey, Patrick... look I don't know what to say. I'm a horrible person. I am so sorry. It was a mistake. I don't even know why I called, what I did is unforgivable. Patrick I love you. I feel horrible and I wish I could just redo that whole day again. I'm not even going to blame it on the pills. I wasn't thinking straight. Patrick, I slept with someone. I was drunk and high. I didn't mean to." Now I was crying into the phone. "Patrick I'm so so sorry, I am horrible. I made a mistake. I understand if you cant forgive me. I don't forgive me either. But if you could give me a second chance. I'm begging you. I don't think I can live without you. I cant think without you. I need you. Please.."