Oh My My, That Man

You never know what you have til its gone

(Petes POV)

I grabbed him equally as harsh as he had done to me. I felt like I was suffocating. But I didn't care. I didn't know if this meant we were good. I didn't know what any of it meant. All I knew was that I needed Patrick. I couldn't function without him. Sometimes you need to loose something to know how much you really need it. And god how I needed him. I wanted him. I wanted his lips on mine. I wasn't even mad about Brendon. I wasn't guilty about Mikey either. I just let myself be engulfed in the moment.

I parted my lips wide, deepening the kiss and letting his tongue slip into mine. I didn't care that he had someone elses mouth lingering on his. Because I was determined to replace it with mine. I grabbed his hair, his beautiful soft hair. I let it run through my fingers and I missed the feeling. He grabbed my hair as well. I wasn't sure at that point if it would go to the bedroom or if we wouldn't go at all. Patrick pulled away, leaving his hands where they were and looking down to where his forehead was against my lips.

"Pete, I know I shouldn't have done it. I regret it. I wish it didn't happen. I want to take it back, I really do. Pete I'm a mess without you. Ive never wanted anyone but you. You really do make me complete. I should've learned my lesson last time this happened. Its not painful with you. Its painful without you. I didn't mean anything I said. It was all lies. Pete I need you.... I want you, no one else. Pete I love you, I'm... I'm.... I'm so sorry..." He was crying again.

"No no no, stop. I messed up first. It was all my fault. I don't want what we had to be lost. Patrick I love you. I am sorry, I'm sorry for everything."

"Can we.... where do we go from here?"

"We go to rosies, start at the beginning."

"Okay." I could hear the slight hint of a smile.

"Come on."

We drove to rosies in silence. Someone had stolen Joes car radio, the one I was driving at the time. I grabbed his hand, I wanted to be close to him. But I knew that it would take a while for him. I knew he wouldn't want to rush into things. I mean he was just with brendon. We walked into the shop and gave Grace, our usual waitress, a wave. We sat in the back, back to where we went out for the first time. It wasn't much of a date the first time. I remember sitting here, looking at him and just wishing for him to trust me. To look at me.

Nostalgic.

That's what it was. Oh nostalgia, It was crazy. Over the years we came here every once and a while. But this was the first time I reminisced on it. I loved him. And now I needed to rebuild that. And that's what I intended on doing. I would stop at nothing to do so.