Forever & Always (Forever & Always #1) (boyxboy)

My Heart Is Yours Forever

When I say that I love you, I don't say it out of habit or to make conversation. I say it to remind you that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

- Kaitlyn

If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then will you realize how special you are to me.

My eyes wouldn’t open for me. I was rubbing them, but they refused to open. I know it was because Noah wasn’t beside me. His being beside me was the reason they opened most mornings. The heat from his body was no longer there and I was kind of sad.

I sighed, not wanting to seem childish. I knew he had to leave at some point, but it didn’t mean I had to like it. Noah was one of those people who hated saying goodbye and I knew that was why he hadn’t woken me.

I peeled my eyes open and looked. There was a piece of paper on the other pillow. I smiled when I saw my name on the front. My nerves were getting the better of me and it was murder trying not to rush off and just get married.

Jesse,

I know you’ll be sad to see I’m not beside you. I couldn’t bear to wake up and leave you upset, so I left before you woke. Please don’t be mad or upset for long. I can’t wait to see you and hold you. In a few hours you will be my husband and I’ll never let you go. Then we can be together, forever and always. So get yourself up and out of bed. I can’t wait to see my angel at the lake. Can you believe we are getting married in our lake? I can’t. It’s still hard for me to imagine a boy; I’m sorry man, like you would marry a dumb ass like me. This letter is for many reasons. One of those being I want you to know how I feel and to let you know that even though I’m shit at saying the right thing I love you. My body and mind have craved you since we were kids. This is going to be better than the vows I say to you today and I’m sorry about that. You know I’ve always imagined having these amazing vows to say, but the truth is I feel stupid when I talk from my heart because I know you deserve so much more. I can’t wait to see your beautiful smile and those beautiful eyes. I love you so much angel. You complete me.

See you soon,

All my love,

Noah x

I read the letter several times. Each time I cried slightly, my emotions got the best of me after such a simple letter. Noah was always running himself down when it came to his intelligence. I had the proof in my hand that he was smarter than he gave himself credit for.

The smile I could feel on my face must have looked creepy, I couldn’t help it though. Noah had written something so simple and beautiful. I was amazed that he thought he wasn’t smart enough for me. It was stupid to think that.

A knock on the door made me look up. Mom came in with a small smile on her face. She wasn’t dressed yet, but I could see that she had her hair and make-up done and she looked beautiful.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to help you get ready.”

She was shifting on her feet and I smiled at her. The smile she gave me in return left me with a warm feeling. I had thought she might have wanted to be with Noah. I forgot sometimes that she was my mom too.

“I’d love it! You know it’s kind of strange that you’re here to help me. I thought you’d want to be with Noah. Even after all these years I still think of you as his mom sometimes.” I saw a flicker of something in her eyes.

She sat on the bed and winked at me. “I know that’s how you’ve felt. I guess it never changed. I just always hoped you would start to feel more like my natural son. It’s okay that you don’t though, I’ve struggled too sometimes.”