Forever & Always (Forever & Always #1) (boyxboy)

A Not So Sudden Change

“To be unbroken, what would that be?
If words that were spoken, had not shattered me”
― ZOEgirl, Zoegirl - Different Kind of Free

Noah and I ate breakfast that morning like we planned. He was quiet though and seemed almost distant. It was very unusual. Out of the two of us, I was the one who was normally quiet. Not that I could be for long around him. He always brought the best out in me, no matter how low I was feeling. It was one of the many reasons I loved him so much.

"Noah, are you okay?"

Noah gave me a hesitant smile. He had acted strange since we had woken up that morning. It was so unusual, he was always so cheery. And now he just looked. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I hope I haven't done anything wrong. Maybe I said his name or something last night when I dreamed that he had kissed me. But he looks more nervous than awkward...

"Yeah Jess, I'm fine. Just a bit tired I guess."

"You're sure?"

He nodded and said. "I'm going to get a shower, okay."

He raced upstairs to get a shower. I washed up while he was upstairs. It took a few minutes and while I was standing over the sink washing my cereal bowl. I wondered what he had planned for today. Maybe he wants to just hang out for a day with no adults around. But why? It's not like we'll be breaking the law. So why there. God knows, I just hope it's not going to blow up in our faces.

"Jess, I'm finished. You can go in now if you want." Noah shouted down the stairs. Then I heard the bedroom door slam. He was in there what? Forty minutes. Normally he is ready in ten. What the hell is going on?

"Okay, thanks." I shouted back, and finished the dishes.

I raced upstairs, and went into the bathroom. Stepping under the warm water I sighed contentedly. It was pure heaven. The bruises on my torso were black and red around the edges. They looked worse than they now felt. The soreness was gone, but if someone knocked into me I could feel them then. Just like the day before with Nathan.

Rubbing the lavender-scented shampoo into my hair, I inhaled. The smell of lavender filling my senses, and leaving me feeling calm. I massaged the shower gel into my body. It left my bruises feeling so much better. Those few minutes I did my best to help my body relax and to get the soreness out.

My body beaten, black and blue. My soul crushed and my heart, broken. And he still wants me around. But would he if he knew the real me. If he knew about all those men.

Once I finished in the shower, I towel dried myself and pulled a dry towel around my hips before walking into the bedroom. Noah had left me a note on the dresser. I tore off the paper that reads,

Had to go out,

Sorry I had no time to tell you,

I'll call you when I'm ready.

Noah x 

He left a kiss on the note. Why? What the hell is going on?

I felt very confused but decided not to question it further. Noah had left clothes for me on the bed. My gray sweatshirt that clings, and a pair of navy sweatpants. The house felt empty now that I knew I was alone. It was unnerving to think of being in the house and having no idea where Noah was or when he would get back.

Once I was fully dressed, I headed downstairs. Looking around I decided to watch television, it was eleven o'clock at this stage and I was really starting to wonder what was going on. Time passed by slowly, and I had started to wonder if Noah had gone to meet the person he had mentioned the day before. A knot formed in my stomach at that thought.