Hyunjin woke up with a jolt. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes darted around the unfamiliar room, pupils adjusting to the pale blue light creeping in through the window blinds. His heart pounded hard against his ribs as the lingering haze of sleep clashed with the disorienting reality of where he was.
Then he felt it. A warm weight across his torso. A steady breath tickling the back of his neck. He turned his head slightly and saw Felix.
The younger was curled up behind him, still asleep, one arm draped possessively over Hyunjin's waist. His bare chest pressed against Hyunjin's back, and their legs were tangled loosely beneath the blankets, his fingers rested just above Hyunjin's navel, unconsciously gripping him close like he didn't want to let go. Felix's face was relaxed, lips parted just slightly, lashes brushing against flushed cheeks. He looked peaceful.
Hyunjin's heart skipped, and then crashed. The memories came flooding back like a wave too strong to fight. Every moan, every whisper, every whispered promise that felt far too much like hope. they had shared last night surged forward in vivid clarity. His face burned with the weight of it. He squeezed his eyes shut, jaw tightening.
Why the fuck did I let that happen? He asked himself. He ran a hand through his messy hair, fingers catching on a tangle. His throat felt dry. There was still the faint, lingering ache in his body from how thoroughly Felix had taken him, how tender and relentless he had been. Hyunjin shivered at the memory, at how open and exposed he had allowed himself to be.
And now here he was. Lying in the aftermath. Wrapped in Felix's arms. He should've felt content, maybe even satisfied. But instead, all he could feel was the gnawing edge of panic. Of regret, not for what they had done, but for how much it meant. For how dangerous that meaning was.
This couldn't work. Whatever this was, it couldn't last. Not with the world waiting for them on the other side of this bed. Not with expectations, obligations, the past, his past, always hanging like a weight around his neck.
And yet...he didn't move.Every fiber in his body told him to get up. To slip out from under the sheets, get dressed, and disappear before Felix could open his eyes and say something sweet that would make staying harder.
But his heart betrayed him. He stayed frozen in place. He turned his head slightly, enough to see Felix's face again, peaceful, beautiful, unguarded. His fingers twitched with the urge to reach out, to brush the hair from the younger's face.
No, he thought. He needed to go. Before the illusion got stronger. Before he forgot himself completely.
Hyunjin glanced around the room, trying not to shift too much. His eyes landed on the edge of the nightstand, where his phone peeked out beneath his jeans. Carefully, slowly, he extended an arm and grabbed it, trying not to wake the man still asleep beside him.
But the moment his thumb lit up the screen, his stomach dropped. 8 Missed Calls and 13 Messages
Two names filled the screen. Changbin and Lee Know. Hyunjin's blood ran cold.
He opened the first thread:
Changbin: Where the hell are you??
Changbin: You didn't check in.
Changbin: Are you with someone?
Changbin: Look, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but Lee Know's asking questions.
Changbin: He knows you slipped out last night. He's pissed.
Changbin: Just... be careful, Jinnie. Please.
Hyunjin's hands started to shake as he tapped open the next thread
Lee Know: Where are you?
Lee Know: We need to talk.
Lee Know: The shipment came in and we have a new route.
Lee Know: I need you to help finalize the drop details.
Lee Know: This isn't a game.
Lee Know: Call me. Now.
Hyunjin swallowed hard. The air around him suddenly felt too heavy, like it had thickened while he slept. His throat closed up. There was no way he could explain this. No way to make what happened last night sound rational. It didn't matter that it felt real, too real.
Reality was waiting. And it didn't care how warm this bed was or how good Felix's arms felt around him. I need to leave. He sat up slightly, moving slowly, trying not to rouse Felix.
"You okay?" came a low, sleepy voice behind him.
Hyunjin froze.
Felix stirred, propping himself up on an elbow, his hair a messy halo around his face, eyes still half-lidded with sleep. His voice was thick and raspy as he spoke again. "Jinnie?"
"Y-yeah," Hyunjin said too quickly. He swallowed hard and looked away. "I didn't mean to wake you."
Felix let out a soft sound, somewhere between a hum and a sigh. He leaned in and wrapped his arm around Hyunjin again, pulling him gently back down into the warmth of the bed.
"It's okay," he murmured against Hyunjin's shoulder. "Go back to sleep."
Hyunjin let himself be pulled in, even as his chest tightened. The warmth was unbearable, the kind of comfort that threatened to make him forget himself completely. But then the phone vibrated again in his hand. Another message from Lee Know.
Lee Know: If I don't hear from you in the next 10 minutes, I'm coming to find you myself.
Hyunjin sat up, panic bubbling up in his chest. "I have to go," he said, too quickly, too sharply.
Felix blinked, propping himself up on one elbow. "What? Why?"
Hyunjin swallowed hard, trying to find a way to explain it. "Lee Know's looking for me. I-I wasn't supposed to be gone this long."
Felix's brows furrowed. "Just stay 'til the morning," he said softly. "Whatever it is, it can wait."
"No, it can't," Hyunjin said, standing now, dragging the blanket with him for cover. His phone buzzed again in his hand. "I wasn't supposed to disappear last night."
Felix sat up more fully, the sheets falling around his waist. "So you're just going to sneak out before sunrise like this meant nothing?"
Hyunjin flinched. "That's not what I..."
Felix ran a hand through his hair, his face hardening with something more complicated than anger. "Then tell me what it is."
Hyunjin opened his mouth, but no words came. He didn't know how to explain that he wanted to stay. That leaving was the last thing he wanted, but the only thing he could do.
"This..." he gestured between them, voice raw. "....doesn't belong in the world I live in."
Felix's eyes searched his. "Then leave that world."
"You don't understand. It's not that simple," Hyunjin whispered. "If I stay,I put you at risk."
Felix took Hyunjin's face in both hands. "I knew what I was doing when I opened that door for you tonight."
Hyunjin's eyes welled. "And I knew what I was doing when I walked through it. That's what makes this so fucking hard."
"Then stay," Felix whispered. "Just a little longer. Stay until morning."
Hyunjin hesitated, his grip on the phone tightening. The message from Lee Know burned on the screen. But so did the warmth of Felix's hands on his face.
He closed his eyes, pressed his forehead to Felix's, and whispered, "Just a little longer."
Felix exhaled shakily, pulling Hyunjin back into his embrace. Hyunjin let him. Let himself be held. Let himself believe, if only for one more hour, that he could have this. That he could want something and not have to run from it. That Felix wouldn't vanish if he dared to stay.
———-
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Deep End | Hyunlix
FanfictionThrough moments of intense action, heartbreaking love, and overwhelming loss, Deep End explores the depths of loyalty, sacrifice, and the aftermath of trauma, while showing that even in the darkest times, the heart's desires cannot be easily erased...
