Deep End | Hyunlix

14

Felix sat in the corner of Café Blú, his eyes staring out the window as his thoughts drifted. The bustling city outside seemed so distant, yet so close, a constant reminder of everything he had been through in the past few months. His fingers idly traced the rim of his cup, the warmth offering a small sense of comfort in the midst of the storm of thoughts that whirled inside his head.

"Order for Felix," a voice called out, snapping him out of his thoughts.

He blinked, surprised he'd been so lost in his own mind, before he stood and walked over to the counter. Taking the drink with a small nod, he turned back to the table, still somewhat disconnected from the present. He had been coming to this café nearly every day since the doctor cleared him to leave the compound. It had been almost two months since he was taken, and though his body had healed, the weight of everything that had happened of being held captive by the Snake Eye Clan, still lingered heavily in his mind. The constant worry, the reminders of that dark time, still crept into his thoughts daily.

His team had been protective, hesitant to let him do anything on his own in the first month after his release. Someone was always with him, making sure he wasn't alone. Felix had been grateful for their care, but now, he relished the moments when he could just be by himself, even in the silence of his own head. He missed the peace of solitude before everything changed.

Felix stirred his drink absentmindedly, his thoughts turning inward once again. It feels like a different life now, he thought. The road to recovery physically had been easier than expected, but mentally? It was a constant battle. He couldn't tell his team how much harder it had been than he let on. They were already over-worrying about him, and he didn't want to add to their stress.

His mind wandered to the past weeks. They hadn't stopped getting intel on the Snake Eye Clan. Chan and the others continued going on missions without him, much to his frustration. He had argued with them countless times, wanting to join in, but Chan had insisted he stay at the compound, and Felix couldn't argue with the reasoning, even if it made him feel useless. The days blurred together as he fought his feelings of anxiety and depression. He was always afraid that the next time they left, one of them might not come back. Each time they returned safely, Felix found himself breathing a little easier. But there was still a weight on his chest, the fear that he wasn't doing enough.

Felix's thoughts were interrupted by the memory of a conversation he had overheard not long ago.

It had only been a few days after he was back at the compound. He had been lying in bed, trying to sleep, when he heard voices arguing outside his room. It was Chan and Han.

"You can't force him to talk," Han's voice had been low, his tone filled with concern.

"But he needs to talk to someone," Chan had responded, his voice sharp with frustration. "I know you see it too. He can't keep going like this. He's slipping farther every day."

Felix felt his heart sink. He hadn't wanted to hear their argument, but the words cut through him like a blade. He tried to stay still, not wanting to alert them that he was awake. Quietly, tears began to fall from his eyes as he listened to them, the guilt and sadness overwhelming him.

Han's voice softened. "I understand, Chan, but he has to decide when he's ready. If we try to force him too soon, he'll shut down again."

Chan's frustration was palpable. Felix could feel the anger rising in him, even though the older man was trying to keep his voice down. "I just hate seeing him like this," Chan muttered, his voice filled with helplessness.

Felix squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the conversation. He didn't want them to worry about him. He didn't want to be the cause of more arguments.

Han's voice, calm but firm, came again. "The best thing we can do right now is be here for him. He'll let us know when he's ready."

Felix stayed still, letting their words sink in. They were just trying to help, but the burden of their concern made him feel even more like a failure. He wasn't sure when he would be ready to talk, but hearing them argue about him only deepened the knot in his chest.

A few weeks had passed since then. Felix was finally feeling better physically and was itching to get out of the compound. The walls had begun to feel too close, the confinement making him feel like he was suffocating. It was time to get some air, even if it meant risking an argument with his team.

"Hey guys, I'm going out for a bit. Call me if you need anything," he called as he slipped on his shoes, ready for a little freedom.

Chan immediately stood from the sofa, his expression a mix of shock and concern. "You can't leave."

Felix paused, hand on the door handle. "What do you mean I can't leave?" he asked, spinning to face Chan, his voice slightly sharp.

"I mean you can't go alone. Let me change, and I'll go with you," Chan said, walking over to where Felix stood.

Felix raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. "Why do you need to go with me? I've been cleared by the doctor."

"Umm, I just want to get some fresh air," Chan said, his voice sounding too casual to be convincing.

"Chan..." Felix warned, eyeing him skeptically.

Chan fidgeted nervously, his gaze flickering to the floor. "I just don't want you to be out alone," he mumbled.

Felix's stern expression softened, and he exhaled a deep breath. "You're going to have to let me do things by myself," he said gently. "I need to get some fresh air. I won't be long."

"Just let me tag along. You won't even know I'm there," Chan pleaded, using his best puppy dog eyes.

Felix rolled his eyes, finally giving in. "Fine, just this once."

Felix smiled, recalling how happy Chan had been when he agreed to let the older tag along. He sipped his drink again, letting the warmth of the coffee fill him, and continued staring out the window, lost in thought. It wasn't until the bell above the door rang that Felix's attention snapped back to reality. A presence beside him caught his attention, and when he turned, his heart skipped a beat.

"Long time no see."

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