Sleep (a MCR fanfiction)

How do you think ok!?

               TRIGGER WARNING

School was sucking so far. I was tripped by some girls, shoved into a wall, and worst of all the mental scars. Like name calling. I know it sounds childish but they stuck in my brain. What they are saying is true. Your and ugly fat emo! DONT YOU GET IT. KILL YOURSELF! I ran into the bathroom and ran right into the biggest stall. JUST DIE ALREADY! DO IT DIE NO ONE WILL CARE. I ran out of the school and bolted. Where's the best place to die? The bridge. I'll jump. I can't. What about Frank and Gerard and Ray and Mikey. DIE. THEY DONT CARE. I ran so fast to the bridge. The exact place where Frank has wanted to jump. I remember I had put a razor blade in a little box under the bridge. The box was filled with notes from Alex and old pictures of me and her. At the bottom was an new razor blade. 100% new.
             **trigger warning**
I made my way to the box. I knelt down tears streaming down my face blurring my sight. I made red lines everywhere. Overlapping one another. Now look at you. No one cares. How could you ever think anyone cared about you. Gerard doesn't. Mikey doesn't. Ray doesn't. Not even Frank. I bet they all just felt bad for you. Or they were messing with you. I went to the top of the bridge. I was dizzy from loosing so much blood. I couldn't hear or see right. Everything was muffles. The only thing I could hear was yelling. Probably kids or teenagers messing around. Well I guess this is it. I took off my shoes and took my place on the edge.
**trigger over**

"1.2.3. Goodbye." My feet left the pavement. I was falling. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach like arms. The ones that made me safe. NO YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DIE. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DIE! YOU DONT MATTER.

"LET ME GO I WANN DIE!" I screamed trying to break from Frank's grip.

"I can't let you die. If you die I'm going with you." I cried and cried for hours sitting on the bridge with Frank holding me tightly.

"Please stay with me. I can't take it without you. I need you Jacky. I love you so much. I don't want to live in a world without you. Do you understand how much you mean to me? Your my whole world. I can't stand to see you like this. I'm gonna fix this I promise. I promise." I dozed off to his sweet words. Your beyond repair.

Jacky's dream
4 walls all white. I sit and wonder how I got here. I was insane. Crazy. Beyond repair. There was no hope for me. Frank,Gerard, Mikey,and Ray didn't want to be around a crazy person. I look at my arms and see millions of scars. 1 for every mistake I've made. 1 went from my shoulder to my wrist. That was for living. I take a bottle of anti-depressants. Only 6 to end it all. I put 1 in my mouth and swallow. Then the second. Then the third. Then the fourth. The last two I take together. This is what I wanted wasn't it. I'll finally be at peace. I feel dizzy and my eyes shut. Forever. Good bye.

THIS CHAPTER WAS SO DEPRESSING IM SORRY. Parts of this chapter are things that I have experienced. I'm just lucky to say I'm still here. I'm so happy I am. If you know of anyone who is suicidal or depressed please make their life so happy. It's that easy. Show them what they are living for is good. The whole world is poison.
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~ lynzie