Pretend; Toy Soldiers

13: Smile

After the incident everyone treated me different and I hated it. I was still me, they never even knew my past and still treated me fine. Snuffy stopped his perverted remarks, Hank wasn't as rude to me. Billy was more protective and Joey wasn't all lovey dovey. I can't believe I just said that.

I was currently walking around campus. I was so tired of this costume and was having second thoughts on staying here. Everything was going down hill and I was really scarred. I sat at a tree and leaned my head back.

I let out a breathe causing my cheeks to blow up. I heard someone sit next to me and I looked over to see Ricardo "Oh my god what are you doing here!" I yelled and he shrugged "Thought I would come see the guys but they are all bummed and depressed..." He said and I groaned "Reason number 3" I muttered and he looked over at me "What? Reason number 3 for what?" He asked

"Reason number three why I think I should drop out" I huffed "What? Why would you wanna do that?" He asked like I was crazy "I don't know." I said frustrated "I'm so tired of this boy act and the guys are acting so weird to me and now they are depressed because of me"

It went silent "They told me... Are you okay?" He asked and I hit the ground "I'm fine god dammit!" I said standing up, my eyes getting watery "It was so long ago, if I wouldn't have broken down this wouldn't have happened" I groaned and Ricardo "Okay, Relax. I'm sorry I asked" He said and I sighed "I know. I'm sorry. I need to talk to the guys" I huffed at the sky. I felt his hand on my shoulder "Good luck" He said. I started to sprint for the dorms. If i was gonna fix it i was gonna fix it now. I finally got there and swung the door open. Everyone looked at me, sympathetically

"Are you okay? What happened?" Billy asked getting up frantically. I shut the door and looked at him "Billy. I'm fine. I need to talk to you guys" I said taking off my hat. I walked over to the drawer and leaned against it. I looked around at everyone "You need to stop this guys..." I said a bit quietly "What do you mean?" Hank asked "Stop treating me differently. Okay, you have a reason to be but really. I'm fine. It was a long time ago. Please guys, i miss Snuffy's perverted comments. Hank being a asshat but that is fun. Billy, stop checking up on me so much, I can handle myself. Joey what happened to us. There is no romance and honestly it's scaring me" I chuckled the last part and he looked down blushing.

"I know i made a huge deal about it, but when you are reminded about your past. It's scary and doesn't go away" I said and looked down "Just seeing you guys depressed just feels like a switch blade at the edge of your wrist" I muttered. I looked up at them "Please guys. Stop being sad for me. I'm over it, i don't even consider it my first time" I shrugged and they all looked a direction awkwardly "Sorry.." I heard someone mutter. I saw Hank playing his hands "Now... Guys. Smile" I said sternly "What?" Snuffy asked confused "I want you all to smile like you mean it" I said.

No one moved "Do you want me to leave?" I asked. Billy smiled so wide his cheeks must have hurt. I chuckled and looked around, Snuffy looked at Billy then smiled, Hank shrugged and gave a smile without his teeth. I looked at Joey. He looked at everyone then back to me. He kept a straight face. He stood up and walked over to me, i faced him and he still didn't smile "I don't want to smile..." He said and i looked over at the guys who were joking and finally laughing.

I looked back at Joey "Okay what do you want to do?" I asked him with a smirk. He cupped my chin and looked right in my eyes "I'm wanna kiss my girlfriend" he said. A smile slowly creeped onto my face. He pulled his lips onto mine gently. I smiled against the kiss and kissed him harder. His tongue slid across my bottom lip and i opened my mouth more, accepting his request. The guys started to cheer till someone pulled me back.

I chuckled and looked to see Billy throwing my over his shoulder. I laughed and looked at Joey who was smiling. Finally.