The Reason (Frerard)

The Pain (Chapter 5)

March 23, 2015

Gerard's PoV

I woke up, head in Frank's lap. I laid there for the longest time processing what the hell had happened.  Why can't this just be one big nightmare? I felt Frank move his hand, pulling me closer. As much as I love him, I don't think I can continue like this. The guilt that him and I broke this band up is killing me.  I sat up, and went to shower and  change into clean clothes. 

"Gee, where are you going love?" Frank sleepily says to me.

"Just showering" 

"Without me?" 

"Without you." I say, a bitchy tone in my voice. What the hell am I doing?

Frank's PoV

Well then. Be that way. I thought to myself as I heard the shower turn on.

I decided to check my phone. Tweets were coming in from the fans like a flood.

"Wait Frank, you're kidding"

"Crying emo tears"

"FUCK THIS SHIT"

"dONE RN"

"ONSJKVGLSR;NVGOIRDN"

I put my phone away and went to check on Mikey. I opened the door to the bunks and saw Mikey's curtain closed. 

"Mikey are you okay?"

"No."

"Mikey"

No reply.

I ripped open the curtain to his bunk to see him a sobbing mess. Holy shit what have we done? 

" Mikey It'll-" I started to say

"No Frank, don't you fucking dare say it'll be okay or fine. This band was my life. Now what? What will I do now?" He interrupted me. 

I sighed. "Mikey I don't know." 

"Exactly." he said closing the curtain on me

I went back to the lounge and turned on the TV to distract myself. 

Gerard's Pov (again)

 After drying off and putting on some clothes, I returned to the lounge to talk to Frank. As much as I love him I can't do this anymore.

"Frank." I said.

"Yeah?" he said turning his attention from the TV to me.

"Frank I'm leaving you." I told him, trying not to cry despite the crack in my voice. 

"What?.." he said his voice trailing off. 

"I don't want to repeat myself' I said coldly, leaving for the bunks.

"Can't we tal-"

"No Frankie." I cut him off, closing the door to the bunks, tears running down my face.

I laid in my bunk crying. I've lost my band and my lover. Both, my fault. What do I have no besides Mikey? Fucking nothing. I'm worthless. Is life even worth living at this point? There's a pain in my body that feels worse than being shot. It felt like everything that I ever made me happy had crashed and burnt around me, which it had. These feelings I don't want to feel, for I have felt them too many times before.  I then laid there, planning my suicide.