Things Your Mother Never Told You

Adele Starts Playing Softly in the Background

Rumors.

They are nasty little things. They can literally take over your whole social life. But sometimes, they can give you so much power.

Hear me out. Hear me out.

So, little Jimmy is talking again. He's saying he has popped your cherry (isn't real.). Said that you begged all night.

Now you are thinking back, trying to figure out when Jimmy came over and smashed your "cherry" while you were reading a book.

Now, you might think your life is over. But think about it like this.

Little Jimmy neon socks just gave you the chance to make up something extremely ridiculous about Jimmy.

Say that Jimmy couldn't pop anything until he watched an episode of All That. Or that when he pulled out the condoms, they were XXS. And he still couldn't fit.

Now, I know that rumors suck. I've had a few spread about myself. But make Jimmy pay for what he tried to spread.