Like A Bad Boy

~Chapter Twenty-Seven~

            In silence we sat, staring at the ocean on the patio. I simply wasn't able to gather the courage to say what needed to be said.

And what did need to be said?

Blane needed to be given a chance. I had shut down every explanation he had tried to give me, but by this point, I realized that it was time to hear him out. It wasn't good for me to have this kind of incompleteness and anger held towards him. For healing purposes, and for the sole purpose of just needing him, I had decided it was time for him to talk, for us to talk.

"I've been immature," I finally said, looking at him. "You deserve to properly explain your side, but I've been blinded by pain and anger. It's not healthy for me to be so angry at you, it's not what she would've wanted."

He said nothing for a moment. "Okay,"

"Start from the night at the party,"

He sighed. "I knew she was drunk, I knew she really wouldn't want to go through with it. God, she was all over me, and my intentions weren't bad, I just knew that she would regret it the next day if we had sex. So I told her no, and she didn't take it well. I tried to just leave her there and tell her to get herself together a bit, sober up. And I thought she was going to stay there, but once I got to the bottom of the stairs, there she was, blanket wrapped around her. She tried to take her clothes off to make me change my mind I guess.

"So that's when everyone started to pay attention. People crowded around us, and some guy tried to 'comfort' her, but it was obvious he was just going to take advantage of her. I knocked him out and left. Yeah, I was drunk and probably a bit more aggressive towards her than I meant to come off as, but that's just me. And with all that happening, it caused a big scene. A lot of people were there, word spread fast.

"When I found out she was getting shit for it at school, I tried to make it stop. Ending up beating the hell out of a few kids, yelling at some people. I tried my best, even talked to Gabrielle a few times to help her through it. She kept telling me it wasn't my fault, it was all hers', but I still felt responsible for it. Eventually she just told me she was leaving school, going to be homeschooled, and I thought that would be the end of it."

My shoulders slumped and I closed my eyes. As the words fell from his lips, I felt my heart tearing more and more. I had been so oblivious, so stubborn through my pain. I felt so awful, and I could tell he did, too.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Blane I was so nasty to you, I had no idea." My hands ran over my face as I felt tears well up in my eyes. I felt so guilty.

"Listen, you didn't-"

"No, I'm such an idiot. I was in such a blind rage, and I'm so sorry for not hearing you out. God, I've been such a bitch to you,"

"I would've done the same thing," he said, shrugging. "Can we just quit it with the apologies, I have no right to be mad at you. If anything you should still be mad at me,"

I sighed, leaning against his shoulder. "I was a wreck these past weeks," I said. "I've missed you,"

"I know I was drunk last night, but I wasn't lying,"

"I know," I said, closing my eyes. My voice dropped to a whisper. "And I hate to admit that I need you, too,"

It seemed like forever that we sat in silence. Finally, after feeling so sad for so long, I felt completeness. I didn't let any of my problems get to me, letting a sense of protection and calmness take the air. It was beautiful.