~Chapter Seventeen~

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            “He ruins me,” A long sigh drifted through my pale lips. The dark circles under my eyes were horrifying, but Gigi insisted on attempted to cover them up.

            “I know, sweetheart,” She replied. The bristled of the soft brush swiped across my pale face in an attempt to make it seem like I had actually taken care of myself for the past five days.

            They were the most painful days of my life. Nobody should ever have to go through the process of accepting the fact that your best friend is gone. She was like my sister. Years and years of memories have come to and end.

            The funeral is what is really had me realize that this is real. She’s not coming back; she really is gone. The concept itself is hard to grasp, and not just for myself.

            The pain that comes along with coping is excruciating. Every time a thought of her popped into my head my eyes welled with tears. The idea that she won’t be with me for the rest of my life killed me. Gabrielle was like a sister to me. I felt like everything I knew in life was different. My mind didn’t know what to think, or even if I would even be the same after this.

            Not only beginning to cope with her death, but also that somebody who I was becoming very close to was the cause. Obviously I knew that Blane had done bad things, but never did I think that he would stoop to this level. And the countless times he’s attempted to apologize just makes it worse. There’s no way I could ever forgive him for something like this. Ever.

            “Did he leave?” My voice had rarely been above a whisper at all this week. I heard a puff of air leave Gigi’s lips.

            “Not so easily,” The weary tone of voice read that she had something else to say. “I just- never mind,”

            “What?” It had always been a pet peeve of mine when people would do this.

            “He’s getting more resistant to leave, Indiana. You’re going to have to talk to him at some point,” She sounded tired. But, hell, we all were. The suggestion made me sick to my stomach, though. I could never, ever talk to him again.

            “No, and even if I did, I wouldn’t even think about forgiving him,” The snarky tone from my snap seemed to frustrate her even further.

            “I never said you had to, but I think you should have a few words,” She reasoned and I snorted. “You know, it’s not healthy to have this anger on top of the grief,”

            “Do you think I’m all that healthy anymore?” I shot back. Her eyes widened slightly. I’ll admit; that was a bit rude. Not that I cared, at this point nothing of that sorts mattered to me.

            Silence loomed over us for the next few moments until I was instructed to get dressed. A simple black dress was laid on my bed, along with some back heels. In no time, my outfit was on my body. As I walked towards the door of my bedroom, I stopped in the mirror.

            The girl that was staring back at me had a poor attempt of color added to her colorless lips and her pale face was emotionless. The dark circles and bags under her eyes had no chance of being hidden. The colorful eyes she usually held were replaced with a grey, dark mood. And you want to know what else? The girl in the mirror was I.

            In just the short period of a week, I had become nearly unrecognizable. Normally, I would have been mortified to be seen like this, but now I didn’t care.

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