(Requests Closed) One Direction Bromance One Shots.

Start Again - Lilo Mpreg

'to re begin to do something again, sometimes in a different way'

'There's a hole in the middle of my heart again

Can we start again, can we start again

There's a hole in the middle and it never mends

It never mends But I've gotta try to start again'

Louis Tomlinson had been out of hospital for no more than a week, he barely remembered his own name, but here he was sitting at the desk at his very popular wedding planning business. His job was what was keeping his mind off the disaster of the past few months, the feeling he had welling deep in the pitch of his chest, the numbness that travels heavily around his body and the tears he shreds at night when nobody else is around.

Today he had made an effort to come into work. He had really no idea why but he was guessing it probably had something to do with the pain he feels when he has time to let his mind wander, his mind does terrible things it leads to places he wishes he never had to think about again. The pain, the restrictions, the never ending feeling like he couldn't breathe.

Louis was certain he wasn't living in his own body anymore, he was dying and it was awfully slow, it was like he was been held underwater and his lungs were giving up on him. His heart was gone, the last hanging string broke the day he found out, the day his whole world completely turned upside down and all it took was five unbearable minutes. A moment he never wants to have to experience again.

As he sat at his desk, fixing paperwork and rearranging his things, it was keeping his mind occupied in so many wonderful ways, his work was occupying him from the horrible reality. He leant back in his chair, his left arm nursed tightly in a blue sling, stitches about his eyebrow. His ribs still hurt, his brain was buzzing from the never ending pile of pain killers he continuously shoves down his throat.

He found himself staring at the small bassinet next to his desk, the peaceful child sleeping nicely inside. Swaddled in a blue blanket. This was Louis' life now, his baby boy Crispin and his job, the job he dreamt of having since he saw his mother walk down the aisle. He loves the thrill of the smiles on their faces when they finally see the plans Louis has made, and that's what makes him successful.

He always imagined what his life would be like if he planned it differently, behavioured differently, acted differently, was raised differently, if his life would be any different. Maybe he wouldn't be so reserved on how he felt and maybe his love life would be different. Two months ago he wouldn't of changed a thing but today he wanted to change everything, he wanted to change how he saw things in life, how he imagined life without somebody he loved. How he was going to manage to make it work. Right now he is throwing everything he has into his baby and his work, because it really is all he has. No nightclubs, no urge to run off and get blind drunk or smoke weed until he felt good, because he couldn't, not with a baby.

As he stopped his mind from drifting too far his door chimed, the chime of a potential client. He straightens his back, places his pen on his table professionally and crossing his ankles together, a forced smile plastered across his face. This is how Louis wants to live, this makes him feel good. Nobody knows his story and nobody needs to.

He realized it way before he should, this is Liam Payne. The Liam Payne that can, sing, dance, act and play magnificent football. The Liam Payne that Louis had dreams about at night, with the beautiful looks and charming voice, and if Louis could close his eyes, stop his mind and listen to Liam harmonizing all day, he would. He never admits to it, but Liam is more than just a famously talented person to him.