The Hardest Choice

On The Other Side

18th April 2014(11:10 pm)
Dear diary,

I had never written a diary before this but I now find it increasingly difficult to find someone suitable with whom I can rant about the complications of my fucked up life. If I say in the language of chemistry, then if I and life react then the product will be reactive, almost explosive mixture. By the way, I should introduce myself to you. I am Nikhil Jain, a student of class XIth, only son of the famous oncologist Dr Sameer Jain. Even though I was a rich brat, but still I was never happy with the life I was leading. I had suffered from the problem of depression from last two to three years. After all it is said that appearances can be deceptive. So it is with me. My parents are famous doctors, always busy with their own things. But they have always been very particular with my grades. Except that they know nothing about me. They never knew who were my friends, what did I do in school, how did my classmates behave with me. It's like strangers sharing the same house. But then things changed from last year when they got to know about my suicide attempt. Satvik and Anukriti told my parents about all this and then what followed after that was emotional drama. For over a week I saw my mom in a very perturbed state of mind. She got on her nerves over every insignificant issue. But eventually things started getting better and now we have better relationship. Now I think I should stop rambling about this and rather talk about the unexpected thing that happened with me today. Anu has a whole of a mess to clear up with that bitch Sandy. It has got worse after knowing the fact that Sandy has a crush on me which is justified, since she tries to put all the blame to Anukriti for playing double game. It is really stupid of her to even think like that. But what exactly flabbergasted me was her peck. In India this is not at all common unlike in other countries. Quite honestly, I had liked her from the time when we had met. We gelled with each other very easily, like sugar in water. But I did not take this thing seriously till today. Another thing which really astonished me was Satvik's unreasonable blubbering. He never really does that thing. It seemed as if he was envious of the fact that she was giving me more attention. I did not talk about it to him otherwise I would face his moodiness, which I am clearly not in a mood of.

I like her firstly because of her sensibility and her brains. She really isn't much of a beauty. She has a short height which was a big setback for most of the guys. She has a heart of gold, a thing rarely found in at least in this institution. We became best friends very quickly, even though I was detested by Shreya, who thought that I was too intimidating. Even I am not interested in changing my image in front of her. I don't give a damn what that bitch thinks of me.

I think that it's now time to accept that I love Anukriti.
Bye
Nikhil Jain
**********
Nikhil told about his intention to propose Anukriti to his mother, Dr Shalini Jain, an eminent gynaecologist and an open minded lady. She was really opposed at hearing this, and said sternly, "Why don't you concentrate on your studies? You know that there is so much competition here for a coveted medical seat. And you don't even belong to an SC, ST, or an OBC group that you will get a reservation whether you deserve the seat or not."

There was a look of defiance so fierce in his eyes that for a moment Shalini was scared. Then she walked out, but before going, warned him, "It is either me or her. Decide for yourself."

"What is the problem with her? You liked her when she came for the first time to our house? Why are you reacting so awkwardly?"

She just walked out without answering him. She could not look into his eyes. Nor she could face his questions. She did not wish to assuage the hurt that seemed to take over him. But while she was retiring to her room, she started to cry, wondering his reaction when he will get to know her secret.
*****
The room, like the single story bungalow was grand and luxurious and she had always felt a kind of relief from all the stress when she saw soothing light green walls on which various pictures of their precious moments were hung. They had bought the house three years ago, from an elderly man who was going abroad to be with his children. So they got that colonial mansion at a cheaper rate.

Sameer was watching TV when Shalini came. She had controlled her tears but Sameer could see sadness spread on her face.

"What has happened Shalini? Why are you upset?" Sameer questioned.

"I am OK", she replied but was trying to control her.

"Stop pretending. After twenty years of marriage, I can tell whatever you are thinking. Is it about Nikhil?" he asked.

"Yes. He has fallen in love with that girl Anukriti. I don't know why you don't tell him the truth. The sooner he knows the better it will be for him to come up with the heart wrenching shock. He has planned to propose her",

"See Shalu, I know that in a way you're right. But what Anukriti told me was a very valid reason for not telling Nikhil the truth. She said that he would really feel bad if he gets to know about the truth from some other person. It would break his trust. I found that she was right and so I want her to tell him this. Let her do the difficult part. Can't we fulfill her last wishes? "

She was apprehensive of this idea but she didn't say a word. Morbidity engulfed the entire scene. Sameer resumed," I really find her a very nice girl who is suffering too much. I had first met her when she was in class 5th. She had come for the treatment of brain tumour. The surgery and chemotherapy were successful. But when she was in class 10th the cancer relapsed and now it has reached the last stage. I asked her why she did not tell anyone about her suffering from cancer till 3rd stage. Her reply was that she did not want anyone to suffer because of her. The amount of maturity she has is commendable."

"I hope she does that soon."

"I also hope that. But till then you please stick to your stand. Otherwise it would make him suspicious. I know that what happened last year is still ringing in your mind. But trust me, here will realise later that what you did for him was right. "

With that Shalini hugged Sameer and cried as much as she could. She was confused. At one side she had to improve her relationship with Nikhil and on the other side there was this secret which had the potential to break it down.

T

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Love,
Arpita Gupta