The Hardest Choice

It Is Okay To Cry

"Sometimes the Lord calms the storm. Sometimes he calms his child. "
- Anonymous

Mridul called up Anukriti's sister Shaily and described her how Anukriti had collapsed and that he had called the ambulance. He was having a hard time gaining control of his emotions. Till then he had not actually realised what did having a last stage cancer really mean. Anu's sister talked to him in a matter of fact way which made Mridul think how insensitive her sister was. He then, after hugging Nikhil, left for the hospital with Shreya.

When he reached the hospital, he saw Dr Sameer Jain, Nikhil's father and Anu's doctor in charge. Before Mridul could ask about Anu, Sameer asked about Nikhil. Mridul narrated him everything, from start to the end. He did not say a word and went to the room where Anukriti was admitted. Mridul then looked at Shreya, who was crying her eyes out and he comforted her though he needed it more than her. He suddenly had to slip into the role of a man which he did with grace.

He saw the doctor approaching and anxiously he asked, "Is Anukriti okay? What had happened to her?" Shreya at that time got aware that she was leaning on the hospital bench.

"Calm down. She has been taken to a room and is under sedatives and painkillers. I am sorry to say but she does not have much time left. Six months at the most if she could bear the pain. The cancer has spread to the vital organs of the body and there is nothing that we can do except wait for a miracle", he looked at Mridul sadly and replied, wishing that he did not have to say those words.

Anukriti's parents were behind Mridul when Dr Jain told him her condition. Her mother burst into tears while her father hugged her and ran his fingers through her back. He was expressionless for some time but then even he was teary eyed and tried to hide it through his glasses.

"Shreya, can you please sit here for some time till I go outside and call my father?" Mridul questioned her, holding her hand. It was instinctive. They both needed emotional support badly at that time.

"Yeah sure, I'll be okay", she assured him.

Mridul called his dad who was an ER doctor. He then went to the washroom and washed his face. Good job holding on, he thought while looking at the mirror. He plodded along his way to Shreya, pondering over the eventful day. He already kind of imagined that Nikhil and Satvik could have fought a battle of blood for her. But Anu dying? That was something he could not come in terms with.

He remembered the day when Anu told him that she was suffering from cancer. He had a gut feeling that something is wrong with her, and it took him quite a lot of time to ask. When she told him the truth, he thought that it was some kind of a prank going on, and that she would laugh after some time. But that did not happen.

He walked to Shreya, and saw Dr Jain talking to her. He had just started at that moment.

"Anukriti has regained consciousness but is sleeping right now. If you want, you can go and see her", Dr Jain said in a grave and gentle tone.

"Thank you." It was then that she saw Mridul standing near her. He asked," Should we proceed?" she confirmed.

He started getting a nauseous feeling as soon as he entered her room due to the strong smell of medicines. He sat at the chair kept beside her bed and made circles on her palm with his thumb. After some time she opened her eyes and looked at him. She tried to sit but could not due to her weakness and pain. He and Shreya left her without uttering a single word.
***********

When he reached home, his mind was already occupied. So when his mother called him to say something, he did not listen. His mother, Sharmishtha was frustrated and was about to shout when Samarth gestured her to stop. He had faced the worst of his life some months ago and so knew Mridul needed time to get out of the shock.

Mridul went to his room to freshen up and to get ready for the special dinner that was made for him. But he wasn't in the mood to do it. All he wanted was to just sleep and pray that that the things could be like before. He didn't care that his 16th birthday had been sabotaged. He just wanted to be left alone and undisturbed.

As the cake cutting got over and they all started to have dinner, Mridul stared at the food that was being served to him. All his favourite dishes were there in his palate but he could not eat. Sharmishtha noticed this and said, "I know what has happened, but please eat. If fasting could help Anukriti to recover, I would also leave my food, but that is something which is not going to help, right?"

"Yeah mom I think you are correct, but I don't feel like eating. My head is pounding and all I want is to go to sleep", he replied, looking down at the food.

Sam asked Sharmishtha to stop forcing him to eat and leave him alone for some time. He thought that it would help him and after some time he would go and talk to him about it. His father meanwhile was silently eating his food.

After some time, Sam came to his room and looked at him. Then he asked, "For whose sake are you holding on? You know what your expression tells me that you will cry the next moment I say something."

"I really don't know", he answered with despair.

"Let it go Mridul. Believe me it would lift the load of your heart a lot."

At that point he told him what he actually felt. He then, surprisingly, started to sob and he realised that it was really okay to cry.

Note : A big thank you to all the readers for supporting my novel till now. The overwhelming support that I got when I did not feel like writing is the main reason that I have continued to write here. I know that this is a sloppy chapter but please do let me know how it is. The video that I have added is of the song Naina lagiya barishan from Anjana Anjani. Enjoy listening to it.

Do continue to give your support by reads, votes and comments.

We are nearing the end of the novel. Just six or seven chapters left and it would be finished. How do the readers feel about it?

How many of the people believe in the stereotype that guys don't cry? Please do comment and let me know.