Forever In My Dreams (On Hold)

Chapter 14

(Dessen’s POV)

Wait, what?

“Uh....” I just stared at her. She’s kicking me out even after I explained?

“Did I stutter, Dessen?” she asked. She didn’t say it in a snobby way, more quiet, like she was just tired.

“No, but I don’t understand?” It ended up sounding like a question.

“I... this is new for me Dessen.” She began, pushing me a step back so I was no long cornering her. “I’m not used to people hurting me and then actually apologizing and expecting forgiveness.”

She walked over to her dresser and started brushing out her hair. “Its been a cycle up until now. People hurting me and not even caring. I just need time to make sure that if and when I forgive you, you won’t hurt me like this again.”

Before I could even say anything, she continuend.

“I know hurting one another is part of a relationship, and that too I need to get used to. Please Dessen, please understand. I just need time to make sure I trust myself enough not to fall apart if and when you break my heart.” She took a deep breath. “I also need to make sure I trust you enough to give you the ability to shatter my heart without hating you for it afterwards... though were already half way there.”

I just stood there, watching the repetitive up and down movement of her brushing her hair. I was feeling so many emotions at once, it was probably easier to target how I feel by listing the emotions im not feeling.

“But... I love you, Miranda.” I murmured as I watched her rhythmic brush strokes falter. “There’s no doubt in my mind that I already love you with the whole of my heart, and I’ll just keep loving you more and more everyday. My heart feels like its going to burst with the feelings I have for you. The smallest things make me realize just how much I really do love you...”

I didn’t know where all this was coming from, but I knew it was the truth.

“Like when you’re reading a book, you get a different kind of light in your eyes. And when were in the car, with the windows rolled down and your hair blowing in the wind... your smile changes somehow. The simplest things make you happy, and it fascinates me. I’m constantly asking myself ‘how the hell did I get a girl like her?’ I mean, its mind boggling. The effect you have on me is... is... I don’t know. You’re just you... and I love it. I love you.”

With that, I turned around and made my way to the window. Without a glance back I leaped out, letting my wolf take over. I landed on paws, not feet, and sprinted towards the woods behind Miranda’s house.

~The Next Day~

The sound of my alarm clock was really starting to piss me off. Not the natural ‘I don’t wanna get up, im gonna throw the alarm clock across the room’ kinda pissed, like seriously I couldn’t stand it. Even when it accidently went off in the afternoon when I was wide awake, it still made me cringe.

I gotta start using my phone alarm.

I slammed my fist down on the damn alarm clock, successfully shutting up the repetitive beeps that sounded like a duck being strangled.

Well, today’s gonna be a friggin’ good day. I bet I look like hell. I thought moodily.

I manage to get my lazy ass off the bed and into the bathroom to shower. A look in the mirror confirmed my suspicions that I ,indeed, looked like hell. I gave a “who gives a fuck” grunt and stepped under the soothingly hot spray. I felt my shoulders relax slightly.