Dead Girls & A Broken Heart ***EDITING MAJORLY***

Dead Girls & A Broken Heart - Chp 8

Nothing ends nicely, that's why it ends. -- Tom Cruise

“Okay.” James said cautiousally and unsure as he drove us home.

I turned the heater one full letting the warmth caress and thaw my thick cold skin. I was still slightly jittery. Luke’s dad was Sgt. Patterson? Luke Patterson, I sigh.

“I know James, don’t even worry or try, I'll be seeing Erin ASAP.” I murmured nestling into the passenger seat although I knew I wouldn’t find the comfort and warmth I was searching for.

“Why haven’t you gone yet?” he murmured still unsure. He had no idea how to deal with a teenage sister who had no parents and had come across two murders scenes and was now a suspect. Who would? That’s why Erin, my school counselor and also university friend of James’s, would be receiving a visit from me ASAP.

I sighed “I was just going to wait ‘till my monthly appointment.” I said truthfully.

‘Till tonight I was dealing pretty well with Nat’s death, I was dealing with any usual state of shock and mourning that was still healthy and bearable. But now… I’d been visiting Erin since our parent’s death. I only visit her now once a month or sometimes even less now, before it was fairly often. Yet I slightly enjoyed it, at first I hated it and hated even more admitting I wasn’t stable. Now though it was my escape. And I liked Erin; she was young, fun, sweet and just…different. Erin was a fresh out of university counselor in schools and her tactics towards counseling was different, she didn’t sit on a couch with formalities and talk about feelings. The first month of going to Erin I’d go in sit on a seat with a hot chocolate, a blanket from home of mum’s and we’d watch Friends re-runs and just talk. Not about my parents but rather just anything, girl stuffs. She still kept that professional role but she played it differently, in a way I classified her as a friend. Her way of dealing and helping me was gradual and was never forced, I talked when I was ready and she knew just through observing and doing random tasks how I was dealing. And although other professionals disagreed with her way of helping others my results from her session is proof enough of her achievements. I liked her, she didn’t look down at you as if you were some crazy person that was about to explode like a bomb, but instead she got down on your level. Sometimes you didn’t need to talk….you just need to know someone is just there for you. James had known her as a friend before but I didn’t meet her until I walked into the counselor’s door at school for the first time. Since then I’ve always wondered what James and Erin would be like as a couple… yet in the end Gabs and James, and maybe some of the teachers at school knew of my visits to Erin (I loved the confidentiality rules because of that), I wasn’t so ashamed but I rather didn’t want to deal with the judgmental gazes and gossip. Just from witnessing the response to Nat’s death was evidence enough that word could spread like wildflower and news would change and become more drastic. I just didn’t want those glances of pity or avoidance; I didn’t want to appear weak or looked on as insane. I just wanted my life to be normal.

“It’s okay.” James soothed echoing Luke’s words making me smile softly at the thought. “I think tonight its hot chocolate in bed and some of The Simpsons, I was actually thinking of the movie today, I haven’t seen it in a while. You know how…” James continued softly.

His caring and sweetness of his voice sending me into blissful sleep.

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Two and a half hours it took. Monday morning talking to Erin it took two and half hours. I left the counselors room in the school feeling drained yet like a weight was slightly lifted off my shoulders.

That is until I faced school, it was torturous. Everyone glanced at me again. Yet it was different because it wasn’t like the first time were I had discovered a murder scene. I was unsure if it was paranoia or reality but it was if they themselves saw me as a suspect too.